Just Like It.

Facebook – Launched in 2004, read by more than 500 million people in the world, is not even a book. Now compare it with the most published and sold book (scriptures excluded), “A Tale of two cities” by Charles Dickens , first published in 1859, managed to reach only 200 million copies.

Don’t worry, we’ll not discuss the real books here because I know what you want to read about.

My exposure to facebook is limited to my wife’s account, occasionally ( ok, little more than occasionally ), as I don’t have a facebook account . Yes, I still feel it’s fashionable to say “ I am not on facebook”.

I know it’s a wonderful tool, still I feel it’s one feature which brought all those 499 million people to facebook.

Thumb rule- Just Like It.

That’s the best button ever invented in the history of mankind . If you have ever been to school ( sorry, that was rude) , you know only 4-5 students participated in class, rest were waiting for Mark to invent "Like" so that they can also participate. Or, if you are that B-School type (No offence please) and attend meetings, you would know that only 1-2 participate in the meetings, rest largely restrict themselves to coffee n cookies while fiddling on their Blackberry.

"Like" also comes to your rescue when you are in a very important strategy seminar, and see that the girl you had a crush on , just posted a pic of her hubby and 2 year old kid – Just Like it. (Socially Responsible Tip – Never  Like your Boss’s status during that office meeting, it’s Likely that he’s also on facebook on his Blackberry and would come to know what you are upto ).

"Like" will also give the AVP in you, a mild satisfying feeling when the ex Batchmate of yours posts his status saying that “ Promoted to Senior Manager”. For ladies, it’s the best thing to do when they see a better looking friend has turned into a fat aunty looking type.

Beauty of the Like button is that you can Like any thing , I mean any thing –  I’m bored , Wonderful Weather, Going to watch Kites with family, Cleared Exam, Walking dog n husband. OMG, I'm pregnant.

One posted “Getting Married” , and there were 121 Likes, of course from all married ones inviting one and all to the misery. Liking “Breakup” is also fashionable these days. 

Now some over enthusiastic facebookers, even Like these status - "Slipped off stairs, sprain in the ankle . Had an argument with boss, got fired. Traffic Sucks. WTF, I’m pregnant. 

So the Thumb Rule is "Just Like It"

Tweet

Oh Yeah , We’re the CrackVerry Boys

We wear  fake attitude

We deserve no gratitude

We’re the CrackVerry Boys

Oh yeah

We’re the CrackVerry Boys

We’re Medicore , But we’re Arrogant

We’re very very Arrogant

We’re the CrackVerry Boys

Oh yeah

We’re the CrackVerry Boys

We do PowerPoints

and we do mail

We do meetings

We do all in vain.

Oooo, ooo, ooo, hoooo

Cos We’re the CrackVerry Boys

Oh yeah

We’re the CrackVerry Boys

Na na na

We’re the CrackVerry Boys

Oh yeah

We’re the CrackVerry Boys

Tweet

Can we take it offline ?

Reporter of The Daily Times decides to call his friend  Harry Blotter , MBA from IIIIPPM , Associate Managing Director with Hefner and Old consultants  NA for a quick view on the Blackberry ban.

Reporter:            You think the Blackberry ban is justified ?

Harry :  Holy Crap , this Government  needs to start with  “Blue Sky thinking” , “deep dive” into the issue , do a  “SWOT” , then take a call to “Pull the plug”. When technology is not the “Core Competency” of the Government, why doesn’t it “touch-base” with other “Stake Holders”  , discuss it “Thread Bare” and then arrive at a “Win-Win” situation . By the way , Government’s approach should be “Customer Centric” and it needs to discuss the issue “End to End” while keeping the “End use perspective” in mind so that it “Manages expectations” of all. Above all , whatever be the “End result” , it ought to be “scalable” , which will require “robust” planning . But the problem is no one is looking at the “Big Picture” , everyone is concentrating at “Low hanging fruits” without “leveraging” the “synergies” and the biggest worry is who will “take ownership”.

Reporter :           Sir , I repeat the question , Is the ban on the blackberry justified ?

Harry:    Can we take it offline ?

Tweet

Calvin Klein's new range :Verified by Twitter

Verified badge by Twitter is the most sought after thing on Twitter (only winning a Nobel prize would come close).

I also heard that Twitter is planning to start a designer label in collaboration with Clavin Klein to let you flaunt your “verified” status to your offline social gatherings ( read office parties , cousin’s wedding and funerals ). Yes , this would include CK’s very popular range of innerwear also.

But verification is not easy !

Recently , I applied for the “Verified by Twitter” and this is what I went through .

Bobby from Twitter ( B) : Sir , we received your application , would you mind if we run you through a small identification process and also verify your credit card details.

Me : Why credit card ? Isn’t this verification free?

Bobby : Sir , seems you don’t have an Apple iTune account , Valid credit card is a pre-requisite and we follow the same process. By the way , I am a Steve Jobs fan.

Me : OfCourse , I have an iTune account , Go Ahead ( rubbing eyes receiving call at 3 Am ).

Bobby : Please press 1 and after the Beep press # , and keep following the instructions over voice mail . Hope your hands are clean as there were some cases of swine flu in India.

Me : O Yeah , rubbing my eyes , I start the drill .

(After spending 37 minutes, and when my blackberry screen displayed 123*10101976*3478#2306*1267#2098#1237*4466324798620001*148# , I heard a voice from the other side)

Bobby : Sir , thanks for the verification , It was little long but worth it.

Me : Screaming , “LITTLE LONG” , Its almost 1 hour and have developed a blackberry thumb because of that. You should have checked time , Its 3am in India.

Bobby : Sir , I know what time is in India , I am calling from a call centre in Kormangala , Bangalore . If you wish , I’ll disconnect and call you tomorrow , any how It’s you who applied , Twitter didn’t invite you.

Me : Ok , but the wait was really long.

Bobby : Sir , that was 37 minutes and 23 seconds not even 10% of the time you spend daily on Twitter.By the way , if you had iPhone4 , you wouldn’t be talking about this blackberry thumb.

Me : I don’t have an iPhone4 , heard that’s got “network” problem ?

Bobby : Sir , that was all hype , dropping a call or two shouldn’t matter. Everyone has forgotten the time when there was no cell phones . And you should be grateful that Steve has given free bumper case to all . Any ways , lets not digress and complete the verification.

Me : Screaming ! YOU DIGRESSED , What is this complete the verification? Isn’t it complete as yet.

Bobby : Sir , we have received your credentials and those are being googled to check your popularity. I have my doubts seeing your number of followers , any how ....

Me : Oh great , You don’t use Twitter search , I heard that’s very good?

Bobby : Sir , Twitter is over capacity . You haven’t heard of Fail Whale?

Me : OfCourse , I have experienced it many times. But why aren’t you working on it ? Don’t you understand how difficult it is when Twitter is over capacity?

Bobby :Sir , I see you are active on Twitter for last 6 months also . Don’t you have friends in real life to speak with ? Why keep blaming Twitter all the time . Any Way , Lets not digress as Its already 5 am and my shift is coming to an end.

Me : Ok , Even I have to go for my morning walk and then office. Why don’t you hurry up.

Bobby : Yes , seems you are on LinkedIn & Facebook also . How come you are all over the social networking circle , Don’t you have a full time day job ?

Me : Haven’t you heard that “Facebook is for friends who are now strangers , and Twitter is for strangers you want to befriend , and LinkedIn helps you to professionally connect ”. And yes , I have a full time job .. ....

Twitter : ( Voice Over Interrupts and says) “Whoops , Something went wrong , please try again........

And I , slam the phone and head for my morning walk with my BlackBerry.

Tweet