Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Oh My God!

8am, I am rushing for office and I notice some shadow behind me.

Me: OMG! Who the hell is that?
He: You just chanted my name, You are right, it's "Oh my God".
Me: Look man, I am damn busy. Please. Who the hell are you?
He: I am God and have come to take you, haven't decided yet if it's heaven or hell though.
Me: Come On, You really think that you'll say "I am God" and I believe.
He: It doesn’t matter whether you believe in me or not, I believe in you.

Me: But, how do I know that you are God.
He: Try sending a DM @God and I’ll read it for you.
Me: OMG! You are really God. But, do you follow me, while I don’t?
God: Man, I follow all.
Me: Don’t you mind that you follow all but all don’t follow you.
God: My world is different from your twitter.

Me: But what brings you here?
God: 21st December, Mayans – you forgot?
Me: WTF! You really believe in Mayans! And, it’s not 21st December yet.
God: I know, thought should remind you.
Me: Hey, don’t even say that, I have too many things to do. How can you even think of that?

God: Well I am God, I can think anything. What all you have to do by the way?
Me: Well, I have a bucket list which I haven’t updated yet, but I have lots to do.
God: Ok, just tell me 3 things which you want to do so that I can see if you really need time.
Me: I mean it, I need time to do a lot.

God: Ok, just tell me your wish list and let me judge if you really need time.
Me: Well, here you go.
1. Need to take my kids and family for a vacation, spend some more time with them.
2. Meet and call my friends and relatives.
3. Well, the third is , let me think , can I have some more time please.
God: See, you are so preoccupied that you can't even spell out 3 wishes.

Me: I am sorry, never knew that I’ll get to meet you else would have noted them on my BB.
God: So, you say you want more time to do these things, right?
Me: Yes, I wanted to do these for long, but don’t get time.

God: Look dude, you are doing it all wrong. I don’t think I can give you any more time. You chose to attend an office meeting instead of attending your kids’ sports day. What prevents you from going on a vacation now? What do you mean by “spending quality time” ? Other day your son asked you to tell a story and you were busy retweeting jokes on twitter. You say you want to meet your friends and relatives while all you worry is about adding new followers on twitter. Why should i give you more time, to waste?

Me: Well, God, I am really sorry but can I have one more chance please?
God: But …..
Me: Please Please Please , I promise I’ll strike a balance.
God: Ok….
Me: Phew! Thank God! I mean Thank You God.

God: But, as I said I follow you and the moment I see that you deviate from your own priorities, I may …
Me: I promise you, I won’t.
God: Ok

Me: Hey, Listen, don’t you mind that you follow me but I don’t.
God: Dude, who cares about followers? I can be Justin Bieber but Justin can’t be me.
Me: OK, but can I be sure of that I have more time at hand now.
God: Yes, till tomorrow.
Me: But, I can’t do all I want to do in one day.

God: Ok, you live as if there’s no tomorrow. And, I’ll see that you have one.