Dope on Doping in Office

We all heard about the recent doping scandal and you must be wondering why the hell these guys do it, right? You hypocrite! Let’s start with what’s doping ?

Doping – Use of Prohibitive drugs or methods to enhance performance. The use of performance enhancing drugs is mostly done to improve athletic performance. It is considered unethical and banned by most international sports organizations because it gives competitors an unfair advantage over others.

Well, now that you know the meaning of doping, let’s admit that we all do it. Wait, Wait – You haven’t done it ever – let’s re focus on the definition “ Use of prohibitive methods to enhance performance to gain competitive advantage”.

Now that half-yearly appraisals are near, let’s be reminded of a typical appraisal rating scale in most of the organisations.

• Outstanding
• Exceeds Expectations
• Meets Expectations
• Below Expectations

I know that most of you don’t even know what’s expected of you at your job, still, you’ll strive to be at least in that “Exceeds Expectations” category. Knowing the bell-curve , this means being in the top 20-25% of your colleagues who are also competing for the same.

And here’s the dope on how some of you have been gaining “unfair competitive advantage” by using “prohibitive methods” .

• Without sacrificing personal life by working late, still, sending that occasional late evening email to boss when you are idling in office because your wife is coming to pick you up.
• Bringing that special aromatic oil from Kerala or that Mava Kachauri from Jodhpur because his Missus likes it.
• Complimenting his shirt as if it’s made of the finest cotton in-spite of knowing that it’s Peter England.
• Remembering your Boss’s anniversary and reminding him of his boss’s anniversary.
• Asking, “How is Aarav’s cricket coaching going on ?” While you struggle remembering names of your nephews and nieces.
• Showing up in office while on leave or replying emails to prove your involvement.
• Saying, “Good that you noticed that error. Your eye for detail is unmatched”, even if he just corrected an obvious typo.
• Sharing his hobbies, and talking about them, and occasionally getting beaten up in his sport – even if he sucks at it.
• Feeding him with the office gossip, even if it involves making up stories about his rivals in office.
• "Is doping really possible" Asking such stupid questions and making him sound intelligent in front of others.
•  "Boss, Ma'am really got a great taste in house decor" , praising his Missus occasionally.

So, now you agree that we all use these unfair methods for our competitive advantage, so keep doping. Happy Appraisals.

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