Saturday, August 28, 2010

Pothole - Half Full or Half Empty.

Mumbai  to Mangalore , Delhi to Dhampur , Bathinda or Boston ( Yes , I said Boston ) , Potholes need no introduction , yet for the uninitiated and some inward-looking homely folks ,let me define it.

Pothole :             (noun) A pit or hole produced by wear or weathering (especially in a road surface).

I don’t understand why people crib about them or hate them , they are actually a God Gift ( see definition – weathering )  to Mankind through Roadkind . Still if some of you are  not convinced , allow me to put the  Potholes in the right perspective.

Inclusive :           It’s God’s own way of bringing the much needed inclusivity in our lives . Be it BMW or Scorpio , Kawasaki or Honda , Nano or Hummer , a pothole spares no one.
Omnipresent:      You may not find traffic police , working signal lights , traffic on the road but you’ll find a pothole – without fail.
Shapes:           As they say "Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder" – just have a closer look at a pothole  , you’ll see some real art-work in them , recently I saw a “India map shaped pothole” ( Not uploading picture because Kashmir was not represented accurately in that , and I would not like to get into any controversies).
Life Savers :       You know Speed thrills but Kills. But how many of you know that 1000's of accidents , every year ,  are prevented by these humble potholes , and the credit goes to speed - breakers . They are silent speed enforcers , so even if you miss the speed-limit sign , potholes would take care of your speed.
Perspective :     During rains , these beautiful natural wonders get filled with water – now its up to you to see if it’s half full or half empty.
Reminders:        Every pothole is inbuilt with an alarm and would remind you of your life insurance premium , your appointment with  Doc for backache , medical insurance and sometimes even need to visit a Temple , a Church or a Mosque.

Hope you got it .

Disclaimer :        This is neither an offer nor a solicitation to invest in potholes.  I or my family does not hold any interest, directly or indirectly in any of the potholes in India or outside.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Uday Chopra , Suzuki GSK-R1000K6 and Twitter

As you know, Bobby, my friend works with Twitter and takes care of the verification process at Twitter, narrated to me how Uday Chopra got his account verified.

Uday :  Hi, Is this Twitter? I am Uday. I need to get my Twitter account verified. And listen, I am in a hurry,  have to leave for a shoot.
Bobby: Sir , Kindly give me your full name and Isn't shooting illegal in India?
Uday:  Bugger, firstly,to be precise, I am the Uday Chopra and am talking about film shooting. You haven’t watched DDLJ ....
Bobby: Ya, Ya now I remember, were you SRK’s friend who wore a cap....
Uday:  Bugger, that was Karan Johar, ....any ways what about “ Mujhse Dosti Karoge”?
Bobby: Sir please , I am not that type and I have a girl friend..
Bobby: Yes Sir , there were 3 Suzuki bikes 1000 cc GSK-R1000K6 , 600 cc GSX-R600K6 and GSR600K6 and all are my favourite , Hrithik was excellent , Abhishek was Ok but there was one bugger who shouldn’t be even allowed to drive a Luna . By the way, Were you director of the movie ...?
Uday: Forget it , Did you see Pyaar Impossible ?
Bobby: Yes sir, we got some free passes  , free popcorn and a corner couple seat . So went with my girl friend . There was Priyanka Chopra in it.......
Uday:  ( interrupts and sighs with relief ) There you are , and I was Priyanka Chopra’s ....
Bobby: (Interrupting ) you should have told earlier sir . Your account is verified now . Completes the details - Uday Chopra , Brother of Priyanka Chopra .... .Hangs the phone.

PS: I am a big fan of Uday Chopra , and I promise that I’ll watch his movie whenever he does his "ACTING" debut. 

Friday, August 13, 2010

Can we take it offline ?

Reporter of The Daily Times decides to call his friend  Harry Blotter , MBA from IIIIPPM , Associate Managing Director with Hefner and Old consultants  NA for a quick view on the Blackberry ban.

Reporter:            You think the Blackberry ban is justified ?

Harry :  Holy Crap , this Government  needs to start with  “Blue Sky thinking” , “deep dive” into the issue , do a  “SWOT” , then take a call to “Pull the plug”. When technology is not the “Core Competency” of the Government, why doesn’t it “touch-base” with other “Stake Holders”  , discuss it “Thread Bare” and then arrive at a “Win-Win” situation . By the way , Government’s approach should be “Customer Centric” and it needs to discuss the issue “End to End” while keeping the “End use perspective” in mind so that it “Manages expectations” of all. Above all , whatever be the “End result” , it ought to be “scalable” , which will require “robust” planning . But the problem is no one is looking at the “Big Picture” , everyone is concentrating at “Low hanging fruits” without “leveraging” the “synergies” and the biggest worry is who will “take ownership”.

Reporter :           Sir , I repeat the question , Is the ban on the blackberry justified ?

Harry:    Can we take it offline ?

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Twit India Movement

If this was year 1942 , and Twitter was invented , my timeline would have looked like this .

@rameshsrivats Enough of Britons in India , Angrezo Bharat Chhodo and I would call it Quit India Movement

@krishashok #QuitIndiaMovement #QIM RT @rameshsrivats Enough of Britons in India , and I would call it Quit India Movement


@rameshsrivats “I Quit Manned Motive” #ANAGRAM #QuitIndiaMovement

@spymaami 11 wants to know what is this Quit India movement , Are the schools open , Whatever.


@madversity US became "independent" in 1776 but had slavery for 100 years after, and civil rights came only in the 1960s. Why such hue n cry now @futurescape

@surekhapillai Why there are so many #Orkutias on Quit India Movement , I’m tempted to list and publish them @ashumittal #QIM

@sunainak #YouMamaSoFat that She’ll get stuck in the door while quitting India . #LameAttempt #YouKnow

@ashwinsanghi Top 10 movies on Quit India Movement around the world .

@chetan_bhagat To the girl who redefined cuteness for generations to come, happy b'day @geneliad , btw I am not against QIM

@kjohar25 Ekta and I have decided to stick to the alphabet K and would like to call it Kwit India Movement !

@jhunjhunwala It's time for the FridayBrunch! 3....2....1...OUT

PS: Though i have used genuine twitter handles , but these are my thoughts and i haven't taken any permissions.