Sunday, December 09, 2012

Corporate Lessons from Life of Pi

I watched Life of Pi yesterday. I know, a bit too late but this happens when you got a middle class mentality and wait for everyone else to watch the film and confirm that it’s worth spending 1500 bucks. By the way, I was hugely disappointed. No, the movie is awesome but I am disappointed with the reviews. Reviewers just focused on one aspect – a visual treat. I think this was much beyond that and had many a life lessons to be learnt.

Here are some.

Never ever blame your parents for naming you. No name is bad, not even ones containing words like Dick, Shit, Pee or whatever. Learn from "Piscine Molitor Patel”, if he can live with a name like that, so can you.

When they say “Religion is the Opium of Masses”, they mean if you overdo one religion. If religion interests you, don’t stick to one. Remember what Pi said “I am a catholic Hindu” and he offered namaz too. 

Don't fuss too much about your eating habits - being a vegetarian and all that. Hunger is a big leveler so better learn early.

All you corporate 9-5 types, this movie is actually written for you. Remember, the Bengal Tiger with a human name, “Richard Parker”. Perhaps Ang Lee wanted an average Corporate Office type to see and imagine his Boss in the Richard Parker – The Royal Bengal Tiger. So let’s call him Boss Parker.

Boss knows all:  To begin with, Pi was mistaken that Richard Parker will miss the escape life-boat when the storm hit the ship, never. Boss always knows when to escape a sinking ship.

Don't Mess with a hungry tiger or an angry Boss . You know the fate of hyena, and you don’t want to get killed, right. 

Try Taming: Pi realized that if he has to co-exist with the tiger in the deep sea, he needs to tame him. That’s how you deal with your difficult Boss. Try taming him, difficult yet possible. Pi hunted meat for him, just to feed him. Similarly, you also need to fetch credits and offer your Boss, on the platter.
Boss Parker & the Humble Pi
Never quit just because you got a bad boss, Never. Remember Pi, you can’t get more hostile environment than him. Yet, he didn't quit. He created a raft close to the life-boat yet far enough to survive from a Hungry Tiger. But, he never quit.

Never underestimate your Boss: Remember that floating island they reached, it took long for Pi to discover that the island turns carnivorous in the evening. But, Boss Parker realized much early and was already in the life-boat much before sunset. So, Boss knows it all.

Be nice to your Boss. We all know that when Boss is getting weak. Yet,  in his difficult times, be nice to him. Pi always knew this and never abandoned Parker when he was getting weak. He even saved Parker’s life by helping him come back on the boat. Be humane.

Don't fall in love. This was the worst mistake Pi did, he fell in love with Richard Parker. When the life-boat reached the coast, poor Pi thought that Parker would say him goodbye, may be thank him for feeding him for so many days. Yet, typical of any ungrateful Boss, Parker escaped to jungle, without even looking back. Pi cried, but I don't want you to cry. So never ever fall in love with your Boss.

Have a back-up story. Life is full of those Japanese insurance agents who just don't want to hear the truth. All they want is a believable story which is easy to be told. So, like Pi, don't pester too much telling the truth. Tell the palatable truth, or a while lie.

I hope this helped in getting more value out of the money you spent on Life of Pi. 

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Oh My God!

8am, I am rushing for office and I notice some shadow behind me.

Me: OMG! Who the hell is that?
He: You just chanted my name, You are right, it's "Oh my God".
Me: Look man, I am damn busy. Please. Who the hell are you?
He: I am God and have come to take you, haven't decided yet if it's heaven or hell though.
Me: Come On, You really think that you'll say "I am God" and I believe.
He: It doesn’t matter whether you believe in me or not, I believe in you.

Me: But, how do I know that you are God.
He: Try sending a DM @God and I’ll read it for you.
Me: OMG! You are really God. But, do you follow me, while I don’t?
God: Man, I follow all.
Me: Don’t you mind that you follow all but all don’t follow you.
God: My world is different from your twitter.

Me: But what brings you here?
God: 21st December, Mayans – you forgot?
Me: WTF! You really believe in Mayans! And, it’s not 21st December yet.
God: I know, thought should remind you.
Me: Hey, don’t even say that, I have too many things to do. How can you even think of that?

God: Well I am God, I can think anything. What all you have to do by the way?
Me: Well, I have a bucket list which I haven’t updated yet, but I have lots to do.
God: Ok, just tell me 3 things which you want to do so that I can see if you really need time.
Me: I mean it, I need time to do a lot.

God: Ok, just tell me your wish list and let me judge if you really need time.
Me: Well, here you go.
1. Need to take my kids and family for a vacation, spend some more time with them.
2. Meet and call my friends and relatives.
3. Well, the third is , let me think , can I have some more time please.
God: See, you are so preoccupied that you can't even spell out 3 wishes.

Me: I am sorry, never knew that I’ll get to meet you else would have noted them on my BB.
God: So, you say you want more time to do these things, right?
Me: Yes, I wanted to do these for long, but don’t get time.

God: Look dude, you are doing it all wrong. I don’t think I can give you any more time. You chose to attend an office meeting instead of attending your kids’ sports day. What prevents you from going on a vacation now? What do you mean by “spending quality time” ? Other day your son asked you to tell a story and you were busy retweeting jokes on twitter. You say you want to meet your friends and relatives while all you worry is about adding new followers on twitter. Why should i give you more time, to waste?

Me: Well, God, I am really sorry but can I have one more chance please?
God: But …..
Me: Please Please Please , I promise I’ll strike a balance.
God: Ok….
Me: Phew! Thank God! I mean Thank You God.

God: But, as I said I follow you and the moment I see that you deviate from your own priorities, I may …
Me: I promise you, I won’t.
God: Ok

Me: Hey, Listen, don’t you mind that you follow me but I don’t.
God: Dude, who cares about followers? I can be Justin Bieber but Justin can’t be me.
Me: OK, but can I be sure of that I have more time at hand now.
God: Yes, till tomorrow.
Me: But, I can’t do all I want to do in one day.

God: Ok, you live as if there’s no tomorrow. And, I’ll see that you have one.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Obsessed with round numbers!

To begin with, let me brag a bit. I started running some 2 months back. I use to struggle to complete 5kms in 45 minutes, but now I can finish 7kms in 42 minutes. To a commoner that’s just an improvement of 2kms but to a novice runner it means a lot because every breath counts. I must than my adidas shoes, my nike shorts, apple ipod and Katrina Kaif for this.

By the way, did you notice the numbers here? 7kms in 42 minutes, that’s an average of 6minutes per Km. There are days where my Nike Running app tells me that the average is 6.04 minutes and that seriously bothers me – because it’s more than 6. But, an excess of 0.04 minutes is just 2.4 seconds, so should I actually be bothered? There are days, when I do 6.85km, this again upsets me as I couldn’t do 7km.

My other problem is rounding while tipping. What if the total bill on credit card charge slip is 1317, in all likelihood, I’ll spend some 19 seconds to make it round. So depending on the service, tip may be 83 or 183 just to arrive at total bill of 1400 or 1500. But, shouldn't I be just adding 100 or 200 instead of doing this rounding drill?

Am I the only one who is obsessed with a round number?

I think I am not alone; we all are obsessed with some or other patterns as far as numbers are concerned. Sometimes Round Numbers, say 80% marks are hugely better than 76.2%. Sometimes a Special Sequence, Car license plate number 1234 is far better than 1247. There are people who like numbers associated with Special Dates, a guy born on November Ten says,1011 is all he wants. There’s also a category of people who have their Lucky Numbers, and this tribe can go beyond any imagination to get that.

While I understand that 60% marks are better than 59% because our education system classifies 60% as a first-division but why a car license number 1234 is better than 1247? Sometimes we give logic that these special numbers are easier to remember. So, mobile number ending with 12345 is far better than 26749 because 12345 is easy to remember, right? But, who remembers mobile numbers anyways, it’s all stored in memory of phones – and I am sure that phone program won’t have any more difficulty in remembering 26749 than 12345.
Other obsession is our ‘show-off’ tendency – car number 007 is damn special. You really think a Honda City with 007 numbers has more ‘show-off’ potential than a Merc with 2680?

There are some who take this obsession to absurd heights, Read this report Wannabe mothers line up for 12/12/12 babies. So, I am sure Sunny becomes special because he is born on 12/12/12  and that's enough to get him a wild card entry to IIT, IIM or MTV Roadies!

Let’s stop obsessing over special numbers, move on, and enjoy life without numbers. Ok.

PS: By the way, I have crossed 1000 followers on twitter and just 900 short of 2000.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Age is no guarantee of efficiency!

I turned 38 recently. Well, some say 40 is the new 30, so by that standard I am yet to begin. But, there are others (including me) who want Sachin (39) to retire. For those, who are about to tell me the difference between physical vis a vis mental condition, you didn't hear about 100 year old Fauja Singh yet.  Won't be surprised if he is Sachin's inspiration. 

Till now there was at least one vocation where even being 40+ was considered to be youth or good enough to begin, yes, politics. Alas! even there, we see some 30+ making waves and reducing the average "youthful" age. Sigh.

We even saw 'young' SRK (47) playing 25 year old Samar Anand in Jab Tak Hai Jan, but if I discuss Bollywood here, we'll digress.

My point is what's the professional shelf life of a human in an average corporate job? These days corporates start hiring directly from the campus and one may start his/her professional career at as young as 20. Now if Gladwell is to be believed all it takes is 10000 hrs to be be an expert - that makes around 4-5 years of practice. So, 5-6 years in a job are good enough to make you expert. 

I very well know that in corporates there isn't a specific task to be performed, yet, even if one does "Boss Management" for 5 years, he gonna master it by 26-27. So, who needs a 35+ or a 40+ guy in any new job!

Ok, every thing else being same, if you have to hire a 28 year old guy with 8 years of relevant experience and 38 year with 18 years, why would you hire a 38 years old guy? What extra benefit that experienced guy would bring to you?

Somehow, I think, after a point, age (read experience) doesn't bring much value, rather, it makes people difficult to unlearn. Forget the new job, even in the existing job, times are changing and 'being young' is no more a disadvantage for that promotion or getting a corner office.

I agree that there are ways and means to Botox yourself by continuous learning, up-skilling and being the 'known devil' yet, it's like Rani Mukherjee learning bike-racing and other stunts to compete with Deepika Padukone for a role in Dhoom 3. (Apologies to Rani's fans, if any).

Even that 20 something Quartermaster in Skyfall (Q) told much older Bond, "Age is no guarantee of efficiency". 

Focus has changed, isn't it?
So, how many of you think that age brings a disadvantage in a corporate job?

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Out of Office!

"Out of Office" is an important feature of an Email Program, not sure why some of us go bonkers while using it. Here is how I treat some of the creativity displayed in such messages.

“I am in a meeting till 1 pm so shall be able to reply to your email post that only”
Dude, no need to announce if you are away from desk for couple of hours. Next you’ll say “I am off too the loo and shall be able to reply post washing my hands only”.

“I am not in Mumbai but operating out of Delhi office,  please expect a delay in reply”
What the hell man, both are in the same time zone, If you got a PC/Laptop there, why delay!

“I am in an offsite at Lonavala till 19th and shall have only intermittent access to emails, I'll reply when back in office”
We all know what happens in off-sites,  well, without digressing what purpose does it solve for the email sender whether you are in offsite or not.
Image acquired through web
“There are public holidays in India on 13th, 16th 18th and I am on leave on 14th, 15th, 17th and 19th. I’ll be replying to you when back”
Now this is heights, why you announce full India Holiday Calendar and your leave plan in Out Of Office email. Email sender is smart enough to figure out that you have clubbed leaves with holidays to have a long vacation, so don't try to fool around.

Mind you, "Out of Office" auto-reply is not a four-square that you'll convey your offsite locations. It's also not a twitter timeline that you need to tell what are you doing. No way it's your appraisal form that you convey to your boss and all others, saying "I am busy in back to back meetings". 

Well, to me, an email out of office message is just to intimate the email sender that you are not in a position to reply and whom the sender should contact in your absence. In the era of Blackberry and iPhones, it’s even meaningless to call it “Out Of Office” because you are any how connected even if not in office. 

A simple and effective out of office should say – when you’ll be back in office (don’t confuse the sender by saying, I am out till 19th if 20th and 21st are weekend) and whom to contact if urgent.

“Hi, I’ll be back in office on 21st, please contact John at

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Recently Added!

What's the first thing we do after we transfer some new songs to our ipod or iphone? We just choose the playlist "Recently Added" and get going. Easy, isn't it. I am sure lots of surveys would have led to the finding that the first thing one wants to do after downloading new songs is to listen the recently acquired songs.

What next! If you like some of them, you quickly make an "On the go" list and here is your quick playlist. Once we start liking the songs, we try making a rather permanent playlist and name it, right. 

Now, see if we can apply the same routine to our newly acquired skills or habits. Think.

Step by Step
  1. Recently Added
  2. On the Go
  3. Thoughtful Named Playlist
Let me explain a bit, say if you acquired a new skill - some expertise in statistics, a new IT certification - keep this on top of your mind for quick access, as this "recently added" playlist does for your music. Apply this skill "On the go" see if it works. If working, then add it into the Thoughtful Named Playlist and practice when required. 

If this new skill is damn good and working, try "On the Loop" but don't overdo that you or others get a fatigue.

Go Play!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

I Run, You?

"Every morning in Africa a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must move faster than the fastest lion or it will not survive. Every morning a lion wakes up and it knows it must move faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve. It doesn't matter if you are the lion or the gazelle, when the sun comes up, you better be running." - Roger Bannister

Friday, October 12, 2012

I am lovin it!

I am no Robin Sharma, then Robin Sharma is also not me. So here is a simple post on some lame and not so lame things that keep me going.

New Crayons - This I learnt from my kids, 8 and 10 year old. Keep buying some new stuff for yourself, say every weekend, fortnight or alternate Monday. Anything, new socks, cufflinks, pen, shirt, belt, bag, perfume, bag, wallet, book. Anything. 

Brag and Broadcast - If you thought about it, just flaunt it. Many of my friends and relatives know that I want to read 4 more books and be 84 kg ( 88 now)  by Dec 31. Not sure if I'll be able to make it, yet, I told them about this. The fact that they may ask or just a temptation to announce the progress, keeps me going. So, Brag. 

No Rhyme or reason - When was the last time you did something without thinking. Say go late to office, bunk a meeting and come home early. Call up a person in your phone book without thinking what to talk. Do it first, think later.

Pepsi and Maggi – Cooking, eating or both, there's nothing like food. Be it cooking Maggi or Dosa for kids, midnight refrigerator hunting or Pepsi with lime and Tabasco - food makes life. Live to eat. I do. 

Kids - Man, if you don't have kids you are missing something. Just a glimpse and they make you forget every thing.

Weekends - Yes, I start waiting for the weekend, Monday onward. Plans or no plans, weekends are just awesome. 

Friends at Work - Have some friends at work, real friends, it's a must. Find people whom you can talk with - without competing - anytime. Rule is simple, a friend at work is someone with whom you can bitch about your boss, his boss and others' boss and still be in the job. Find one, today.

Passion – Not giving any gyan here to have a hobby, pursue passion etc. Just have something other than work. Say painting, blogging, running, cooking, volunteering, reading.  Not that you need to stick to one, keep shuffling.

Joy of Small things - Celebrate, do it more often. If you are running, it's not that you need to wait for completing marathon to celebrate. Cherish, your first km. Cherish and celebrate when you complete 5k on a weekend. Celebrate every mile.

Thank God - Yes, I do. All you need to do is look up and acknowledge HIS presence. 

Man, life is good, find a reason to enjoy it, you’ll get many. 

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Once Upon a Time on KBC!

Jointly written by the world famous Shiv Kumar Mishra and yours truly, read on. 

कौन बनेगा करोड़पति के सेट पर. अमिताभ बच्चन साहब अपनी दोनों हथेलियों का गठबंधन लिए हुए आते हैं और आते ही शुरू हो जाते हैं; "वेलकम वेलकम वेलकम...अ वेरी गुड एवेनिंग टू आल ऑफ यू...नमस्कार, आदाब, सत श्रीअकाल...देवियों और सज्जनों, मैं अमिताभ बच्चन आपसब का इस अद्भुत खेल में स्वागत करता हूँ जिसका नाम है कौन बनेगा करोड़पति...जैसा कि कल आपने देखा, मुंबई के बाबूराव गणपतराव आप्टे यहाँ से बारह लाख पच्चास हज़ार रूपये जीत कर गए.... और एकबार फिर से यह सिद्ध हुआ कि ज्ञान जो है, वही आपको आपका सही स्थान दिलाता है...और आज हमारे साथ दस नए कंटेसटेंट्स हैं. आइये उनका परिचय जान लेते हैं........तो फिर आइये शुरू करते हैं फास्टेस्ट फिंगर फर्स्ट..आपसब को पता है कि क्या करना है...और फास्टेस्ट फिंगर फर्स्ट के लिए आपका प्रश्न है;

इन भारतीय अभिनेताओं को उनकी अभिनय क्षमता के अनुसार नीचे से ऊपर के क्रम में लगायें..प्रश्न एक बार पुनः सुन लें...इन भारतीय अभिनेताओं को उनकी अभिनय क्षमता अर्थात ऐक्टिंग स्किल्स के अनुसार नीचे से ऊपर के क्रम में लगायें...और आपके ऑप्शंस हैं..

ए) डीनो मोरिया 
बी) तुषार कपूर 
सी) अर्जुन रामपाल और 
डी) हरमन बावेजा.

ऑप्शंस एकबार फिर से देख लें...ए) डीनो मोरिया... बी) तुषार कपूर... सी) अर्जुन रामपाल और डी) हरमन बावेजा... 

कंटेस्टेंट्स ने जवाब दिए और कम्यूटर की स्क्रीन देखते हुए अचानक बच्चन साहब ठीक वैसे ही चिल्लाने लगे जैसे फिल्म हम में सुदेश भोंसले की आवाज़ में चिल्लाते हुए उन्होंने जुम्मा जी को पुकारा था; "और सबसे पहले सही जवाब दिया है मुंबई के इक्कीस वर्षीय विकास गोयल ने... बहुत खूब! विकास जी, आपने केवल ढाई सेकंड्स में ही फास्टेस्ट फिंगर फर्स्ट पूरा किया...ओह! आह! वैसे इतने कठिन प्रश्न का आपने न केवल सही उत्तर दिया बल्कि बहुत ही कम समय में दिया... इस बात पर मैं यह अवश्य कहूँगा कि बहुत तेज़ दिमाग है आपका. क्या आप डाबर च्यवनप्राश का सेवन करते हैं?"

विकास; "नहीं सर, च्यवनप्राश नहीं, हाँ मैं हाजमोला खाता हूँ. वैसे तो सर क्वेश्चन रियली बहुत टफ था ...इन एक्टर्स में कौन ऊपर और कौन नीचे, यह बताना आम इंसान के बस की बात नहीं....फिर भी यह दिमाग की बात नहीं है सर, यह तो अँगुलियों को चलाने की बात...और सर, अगर आप चौबीस घंटों में से सोलह घंटे स्मार्टफोन पर फेसबुक और ट्विटर करेंगे तो आप भी ढाई सेकंड्स में यह कर लेंगे..."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "हा हा हा ...परन्तु आपने कोशिश की..जो हिम्मत दिखाई, उसके लिए आप बधाई के पात्र हैं. ...बिना कोशिश के यह कर पाना असंभव होता. इस बात पर मुझे बाबूजी की कविता याद आती है कि; लहरों से डरकर नौका पार नहीं होती...."

विकास; "..कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती..सर, पिछले एपिसोड में आप यह कविता सुना चुके हैं."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "हा हा हा..तो चलिए फिर हम और आप मिलकर खेलते हैं कौन बनेगा करोड़पति. तो देवियों और सज्जनों आपने देखा कि किस तरह से मुंबई से आये विकास गोयल जी ने......."

हॉट सीट पर बैठने के बाद...

अमिताभ बच्चन; "तो विकास जी, आप हमें और हमारे दर्शकों को अपने बारे में कुछ बताइये.."

विकास; "सर, मैं मस्स्त.. आई लाइक रीडिंग...पढ़ना मुझे बहुत पसंद है."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "ओ..आपको पढ़ना पसंद हैं..बहुत खूब! वैसे क्या पढ़ना पसंद करते हैं आप? मेरा तात्पर्य है कि किस तरह की किताबें..?"

विकास; "सर, मैं बॉम्बे टाइम्स पढ़ता हूँ. बहुत पढ़ता हूँ. इसके अलावा मुझे पोलिटिक्स, क्रिकेट, सिनेमा..बहुत रूचि है मेरी..और आय ऐम अ बिग फूडी..आय लव ट्रैवेलिंग.."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "ओह, यह सब चीज़ें भी आपको बहुत पसंद हैं! बहुत खूब! वैसे आपकी पसंद ट्विटर सेलेब्रिटी जैसी है... तो क्या आप भी ट्विटर पर..."

विकास; "सर, बिलकुल सही पहचाना आपने. मैं ट्वीटर ही हूँ. और सर, आप भी तो ट्विटर पर..." 

अमिताभ बच्चन; "हाँ, मैं भी ट्विटर पर हूँ..और अब तो मैं फेसबुक पर भी...वैसे आपने कभी ट्विटर पर मुझे फालो नहीं किया."

विकास; "सर, आप भी तो कहाँ मुझे फालो करते हैं?" 

अमिताभ बच्चन; "हा हा हा..और अपने जीवन के बारे में कुछ बताइए."

विकास; "बताना क्या है सर, मैं बिलकुल मस्त...

अमिताभ बच्चन; "मेरे कहने का तात्पर्य यह था कि अपने आरंभिक जीवन के बारे में कुछ बताइए..मेरा मतलब बचपन में जब घर वालों को पैसे की तंगी...जैसे जब आप स्कूल में अपने पैसेवाले मित्रों को खर्च करते हुए देखते थे और आपके पास पैसे नहीं होते थे तो आपको कैसा लगता था?"

विकास; "पैसे की कमी कभी रही ही नहीं..अपने स्कूल में मैं ही सबसे पैसेवाला था सर. ..हमेशा मैं ही खर्च करता था. ...मॉम-डैड भी बिलकुल कूल हैं. "

यह सुनकर अमिताभ बच्चन के साथ-साथ ऑडिएंस का चेहरा भी उतर जाता है. वे यह सुनकर दुखी हो जाते हैं कि हॉटसीट पर एक ऐसा कंटेस्टेंट बैठा हैं जिसके पास बहुत पैसा है. जिसे पैसे की कमी की वजह से पिज्जा न खा पाने का दुःख कभी नहीं रहा और न ही मनचाही पढ़ाई न कर पाने का. 

अमिताभ बच्चन; "तो फिर चलिए हम और आप मिलकर खेलते हैं कौन बनेगा करोड़पति. खेल के नियम तो आपको पता ही होंगे....."

विकास; "सर, पिछले १२ सालों से देख रहा हूँ...मैं ही क्यों पूरे इंडिया को गेम के रूल्स मालूम हैं. आप तो बस सवाल कीजिये."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "हा हा हा..तो फिर यह रहा पाँच हज़ार रुपयों के लिए आपका पहला प्रश्न; इन फिल्मों में से कौन सी फिल्म अभिषेक बच्चन की एक प्रसिद्द फिल्म है? प्रश्न एक बार फिर से सुन लें...इनमें से कौन सी मूवी अभिषेक बच्चन की एक प्रसिद्द मूवी है? और आप के ऑप्शंस हैं;

ए) बोल खान 
बी) बोल कपूर 
सी) बोल बच्चन और 
डी) बोल देवगन. 

विकास को लगा जैसे बच्चन साहब ऑप्शंस में "सी बोल बच्चन" कहकर मूवी देखने का इशारा कर रहे हैं. फिर उसके मन में आया कि चार की जगह अगर पाँच ऑप्शंस होते तो बोल कुमार को भी अकॉमोडेट किया जा सकता था.. सोचते-सोचते अचानक बोल पड़ा; "सर, मैं लाइफ-लाइन यूज करना चाहूँगा.."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "ओह! पहले ही प्रश्न में लाइफ-लाइन का प्रयोग ...वैसे आप चाहें तो प्रश्न को फिर से देख सकते हैं, हमें कोई जल्दी नहीं है. बहुत प्रसिद्द यह जो है फिल्म अभिषेक की...आपको एक हिंट दे दूँ कि इस फिल्म ने बॉक्स ऑफिस पर सौ करोड़ रूपये कमाये हैं..."

विकास; "सर, मैं सिर्फ अच्छे एक्टर्स की मूवी देखता हूँ.."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "तो फिर आप लाइफ लाइन इस्तेमाल करना चाहते हैं...जनता जनार्दन, विकास जी को आपके मदद की आवश्यकता है...आप उनकी मदद कीजिये...वे अपनी लाइफ-लाइन का इस्तेमाल करना चाहते हैं. अपने-अपने वोटिंग मीटर्स तैयार रखिर..और आपका समय शुरू होता है अब.." 

कहते हुए बच्चन साहब ने अपने दाहिने हाथ की तर्जनी को हवा के ऊपर पटक दिया.

वोटिंग समाप्त ..रिजल्ट आते ही अमिताभ बच्चन; "ओह, जनता ने तो आपका काम काफी आसान कर दिया..हालाँकि करीब उनत्तीस प्रतिशत लोगों का मानना है कि सही जवाब है डी) "बोल देवगन" परन्तु वहीँ पर पैंसठ प्रतिशत लोगों का का मानना है कि सही जवाब है सी) "बोल बच्चन" ..और अपने पुराने अनुभवों से मैं कह सकता हूँ कि बहुत कम मौके ऐसे आते हैं जब जनता इतनी भारी मात्रा में एक-दूसरे के साथ सहमत होती है. तो आप जनता के साथ जाना चाहेंगे? लॉक कर दूँ सी) बोल बच्चन? "

विकास; "नहीं सर."

सुनकर स्टूडियो ऑडिएंस में खुसर-पुसर शुरू हो जाती है. कई लोग़ जिन्होंने सी) बोल बच्चन को वोट दिया था, उन्हें भी अपने ज्ञान पर शंका होने लगी. शायद प्रोडक्शन वालों में से किसी ने इशारा किया होगा कि ऑडिएंस चुप हो गई. अमिताभ बच्चन जी बोले; "ओह, विकास जी, आश्चर्य की बात है कि पैसठ प्रतिशत जनता सी) कह रही है फिर भी आप जनता के साथ नहीं जाना चाहते."

विकास; "सर, अगर जनता को सही गलत का पता होता तो ऐसी फिल्में सौ करोड़ कमा पाती क्या? और सर, सच कहूँ तो जनता को अगर सही-गलत का पता होता तो देश का जो हाल है, वह भी नहीं होता."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "तो फिर आप क्या करना चाहेंगे?"

विकास; "सर, मैं एक्सपर्ट एडवाइज यूज करना चाहूँगा."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "बहुत खूब! कम्प्यूटर जी, विकास जी एक्सपर्ट एडवाइज यूज करना चाहते हैं...आज की हमारी एक्सपर्ट हैं विख्यात अभनेत्री कटरीना कैफ जी. कम्प्यूटर जी, कटरीना जी से हमारा संपर्क स्थापित करवाइए." 

अभी संपर्क स्थापित हो ही रहा था कि विकास बोल पड़ा; "सर, मैं कटरीना के साथ जाना चाहता हूँ."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "परन्तु अभी तक तो कटरीना जी ने जवाब भी नहीं दिया."

विकास; "सर मैं जवाब के साथ जाने की बात नहीं कर रहा हूँ, मैं कटरीना के साथ घर जाने की बात कर रहा हूँ."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "हा हा हा...कम्यूटर जी, कटरीना कैफ जी से संपर्क स्थापित करवाया जाय."

बहुत कोशिश के बाद भी संपर्क स्थापित नहीं हो सका. अमिताभ बच्चन जी ने कहा; "भाई साहब, लगता है कटरीना जी ने आपकी उनके साथ घर जाने की बात सुन ली और उन्होंने लाइन डिस्कनेक्ट कर दिया है. तो अब आपके पास सिर्फ दो ऑप्शंस बचे हैं. एक है फोन अ फ्रेंड और दूसरा है डबल डिप. आप कौन सा ऑप्शन इस्तेमाल करना चाहेंगे?"

विकास ; "सर, मैं फोन अ फ्रेंड करना चाहूँगा."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "कम्यूटर जी, विकास गोयल जी द्वारा फोन अ फ्रेंड ऑप्शन के लिए दी गई इनके मित्रों की सूची दिखाई जाय."

कम्यूटर जी स्क्रीन पर चार लोगों की सूची दिखाते हैं. 

अमिताभ बच्चन; "इन चार में से आप किसे फोन कर करना चाहेंगे?"

विकास; "सर, शिव कुमार मिश्रा को."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "मित्र हैं आपके? आपके साथ कॉलेज में पढ़ते थे? क्या करते हैं शिव कुमार जी?"

विकास ; "नहीं सर, कॉलेज वॉलेज में नहीं थे, ट्विटर से फ्रैंडशिप हुई इसके साथ. और करेगा क्या? दिन भर ट्वीट करता रहता है.... ये लिस्ट में आपने जो चार फ्रेंड्स देखे हैं, इन सभी से सोशल मीडिया पर ही फ्रैंडशिप हुई. रीयल लाइफ के फ्रेंड मेरे हैं ही नहीं. जो हैं, सारे नेट फ्रेंड्स हैं."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "ओह, तो आपके सारे मित्र जो हैं, वह सोशल मीडिया की वजह से बने...यह बहुत अच्छी बात है कि तकनीकि ने पूरी दुनियाँ के लोगों को एक-दूसरे के साथ मिला दिया है. मित्रता करवा दिया है. तो कम्प्यूटर जी, शिव कुमार मिश्रा को कोलकाता में फोन लगाया जाय. "

कम्प्यूटर जी ने शिव कुमार मिश्रा को फ़ोन लगा दिया. जैसे ही उन्होंने फ़ोन उठाया अमिताभ बच्चन जी बोले; "हेलो, शिव कुमार जी..?"

उधर से आवाज़ आई; "जी, बोल रहा हूँ."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "शिवकुमार जी, नमस्कार, मैं अमिताभ बच्चन बोल रहा हूँ कौन बनेगा करोड़पति से."

उधर से आवाज़ आई; "हाँ बोलिए."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "शिव कुमार जी, मैं अमिताभ बच्चन बोल रहा हूँ कौन बनेगा करोड़पति से."

उधर से आवाज़ आई; "मैं आपको पहचान गया हूँ सर. आप आगे भी कुछ बोलना पसंद करेंगे?"

अमिताभ बच्चन; "हा हा हा..इस समय आपके मुंबईवासी मित्र विकास गोयल जी हमारे सामने हॉटसीट पर बैठे हैं."

उधर; "अच्छा! कुछ जीत भी लिया है क्या उसने?"

अमिताभ बच्चन; "नहीं, अभी यह उनका पहला ही प्रश्न है और उसका सही जवाब देने के लिए उन्हें आपके मदद की जरूरत है. अगली आवाज़ जो आप सुनेंगे, वह आपके मित्र विकास जी की आवाज़ होगी. आपको इसके लिए तीस सेकंड्स मिलेंगे. और आपका समय शुरू होता है अब."

कहकर अमिताभ बच्चन जी ने एकबार फिर अपने दाहिने हाथ की तर्जनी को हवा पर दे मारा. हवा को फिर से चोट लग गई.

विकास; "अबे, आखिर मिल ही गया न तू. सवाल जवाब ऑप्शंस गए भाड़ में पहले तू ये बता कि मेरे पचीस हज़ार रूपये और आई-फोन का चार्जर कब देगा बे? तीन महीने से जब भी तुझे फोन करता हूँ, तू मुंबई का नंबर देखकर उसको काट देता है. आज पहले तू बता कि मेरा पैसा वापस कब करेगा?......"

अमिताभ बच्चन; "ओह, विकास जी, आपका समय समाप्त हो गया. आपके हाथ से यह मौका जाता रहा. वैसे ये बताइए कि कितने महीने हो गए इन्हें आपसे उधार लिए हुए?"

विकास ; "अरे सर, पूछिए मत. चार महीने हो गए हैं. कितनी बार फोन किया, फोन ही नहीं उठाता. मेल किया, उसका भी जवाब नहीं दिया. डी एम तक का जवाब नहीं देता है. ऊपर से पिछले तीन महीने में तीन बार मुंबई आकर वापस जा चुका है. वापस गया और फेसबुक पर मुंबई की पिक्स लगाई तब मुझे पता चला...."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "परन्तु आपके हाथ से प्रश्न के सही जवाब देने का एक और मौका चला गया."

विकास ; "अरे सर, आपका क्वेश्चन तो पाँच हज़ार का था. मेरा तो यहाँ इस बन्दे ने पचीस हज़ार लिया हुआ है."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "तो फिर अब क्या करना चाहेंगे आप? आपके पास सिर्फ एक लाइफ-लाइन है और वह है डबल डिप. इसके बारे में मैं आपको बता दूँ. आप कोई भी ऑप्शन चुन सकते हैं. अगर वह गलत हुआ तो फिर आपको एक और मौका दिया जाएगा कि आप दूसरा ऑप्शन चुन सकते हैं."

विकास; "सर, कितना अच्छा होता कि भारत में इलेक्शंस भी ऐसे ही होते. हम एक सरकार चुनते और अगर वह हमारी उम्मीद पर खरी न उतरती तो हम बटन दबाकर दूसरी पार्टी को चुन लेते और अपनी गलती सुधार लेते."

अमिताभ बच्चन; "हा हा हा ..कौन बनेगा करोड़पति के इस ऑप्शन से देश की दिशा और दशा सुधर सकती है. चूँकि पूरा भारत उनकी बात सुनता है इसलिए मैं आमिर खान जी से अनुरोध करूँगा कि वे देश के लिए हमारी इस सौगात को भारत के चुनाव आयोग के पास.....वैसे विकास जी, अब आप क्या करना चाहेंगे?"

विकास; "सर, अब मैं क्विट करना चाहता हूँ. मुझे देर हो रही है. आज मेरा एम टीवी रोडीज का ऑडिशन है."

इतना कहकर विकास उठा खड़ा हुआ. जैसे ही वह बाहर गया अमिताभ बच्चन जी फिर शुरू हो गए; "ओह्ह, तो अभी अभी आपने देखा देवियों और सज्जनों कि एकमात्र ज्ञान ही ......"

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Leaders and their twitter followers!

Recently, I came across this interesting phenomenon on twitter; People were fighting on twitter, using twitter and because of twitter–truly democratic na. I was not following the fighters but did check their timelines in academic interest. Among other things, they were also fighting over “Look, I got more followers than you” or as they call in Delhi “Janta hai mera baap kaun hai”.

In other related news, I recently earned 1000 followers. For a moment, I thought I should change my profile on Linked In to something like “That Bald guy on Twitter who has 1000+ followers”, then I thought distributing 1000 laddus in my society should be good enough to begin with. By the time, this post hit the blogger servers I had reached 1016 followers. The closest I came to being Sachin was when I was stuck on 999 followers, now I know how HE would have felt.

I also know of people who welcome their every single follower saying “Hey @dude, nice to have you here, look forward to interact” , yet to find out if they are equally nice in real life.

My sources tell me, that at a recent book launch, @AnAunty (handle changed to avoid twitter fight) introduced herself as “Hey, I am @AnAunty , got 4768 followers. Oh wait, it’s 4771 actually” . When people still refused to recognize her, she had to finally say “Hey, even @DakuRaja follows me, who has got 36745 followers and also featured on the cover of Outlook Magazine” . Thanks to Vinod Mehta and his two subscription requests email a day, some people had read Outlook and @AnAunty got her identity.

No wonder, post that event, the organizer said “Abe ye 4000 follower wali aunty apna mobile bhool gayi hai, jaldi de ke aa”.

We also login to apps which tell us “who unfollowed” and their names and DPs are imprinted on our minds forever and they shall be never forgiven for their ghastly acts. Some are so obsessed to regain them that they also mention the “important unfollower” in their tweets to make them feel guilty. Some naïve also ask “Hey, seems you pressed unfollow instead of RT :) ” .

Importance of “number of followers” doesn’t end here, we respond on twitter only if the guy has more follower than us or has a pretty DP. These days, you can still have some respect for not owning Honda City in Delhi but having 1000 twitter followers is a must.

Why not, having a “follower” on twitter is the closest some of us get to “being a leader”.

PS: Let’s not lose heart if you don’t have 1000 of them yet, just quit twitter.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Why Ek Tha Tiger is a must watch. Must!

I very well know that a Salman Khan fan doesn't need a reason to watch this movie, yet, what's the harm in knowing some useful trivia which may change your life, or not. 

This one is a must watch, and here is why: 

You remember the real Hero of the movie Hum Aapke hain Kaun? Yes, I am talking about Tuffy – the Pomeranian dog. Liked him. So, ETT has got Rocket – the pug. Like Tuffy, Rocket also plays a pivotal part in bringing the couple together – Roshan Seth & Katrina Kaif.

I am sure you liked ZNMD which was about Spain Tourism and that round thing which you think is a vegetable but actually is a fruit. ETT is far better, not only this covers many more exotic locales like Cuba, Iraq, Turkey, Ireland & Punjabi Bagh, but also talks about exotic dishes like “punctured egg” and “Tangri Kabab”.

Yes, like every other Bollywood movie, there’s a message in ETT also - Always pursue a hobby. In difficult times, when you are sacked or have to leave your job, you can always use your craft to make money. It’s painting that saved the Tiger, else 23 lacs wouldn’t have been sufficient to survive in Turkey & Cuba.

This landmark film promotes Indo-Pak relations. Not only that, it also tells that if the Intelligence agencies of both the nations work together, promotes platonic relationships, Indian subcontinent can really rule the world.

I haven’t seen such thoughtful action sequences in any bollywood movie. To quote one, Salman Bhai realizes that Tram’s brakes are not working. Immediately jumps to the top of the train and stops the train by disconnecting the electricity supply using his blazer. No it doesn’t end there, he dusts off the blazer and wears it back, see, why waste Blazer. 

Last, and the most, an Indian movie releases on the Indian Independence Day and you’ll not watch it. Traitor!

Disclaimer: This is a fully paid review, yes, I paid for my tickets and popcorn.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Cocktail - a teetotaler's perspective!

I had to watch this movie Cocktail, not that I am Bebo’s fan or something, just because that’s what a teetotaler can do – watch Cocktail while saying "waiter, one fresh lime soda please, sweet-salted both" Now having spent 1000 bucks, here are my 2 cents on the movie.

Characters : Veronica: Deepika , Meera: Diana & Gautam: Saif Uncle.

Story (read slowly): Veronica and Meera are friends. Gautam is Veronica’s friend. But Meera is not friends with Gautam. Gautam and Meera start liking each other. Now Veronica is not friends with Meera. Meera does not want to be friends with Gautam now. But Veronica is still friends with Gautam.  Gautam wants to again befriend Meera……. OK.OK. This is what an average dude and dudette on facebook call "It's Complicated, but Homi chose to call it - Cocktail.

I couldn’t sleep whole night after watching this movie.  It’s a very good script but in wrong hands and needed some editing. Wish the movies was made by our revered Sooraj Barjatya Sir, so that it reflected some Indian values. 

I am sure Sooraj sir would have changed a few things –

- How can a leading lady say “I’m a rich bitch”, “We’ll make an awesome threesome” , “You screwed me” and above all “I want to pee” . Man! when was the last time you ever heard a leading lady like Madhubala Ji say “I want to pee”. In movies, heroines don’t ever pee, forget saying that.

- Veronica & Gautam kissing, sleeping with each other, still ok. But, how the hell can they use same tooth brush. Ridiculous. Other bigger question is, if they had namak in their toothpaste!

- Now this song: Chadhi mujhe yaari teri aisi, jaise daaru desi. You mean country liquor? Indian Made Country Liquor!  We are the country of Prems & Sumans. Let’s not malign words like yaari comparing them to Daaru Desi. Sooraj ji would have edited this to - Chadhi mujhe yaari teri aisi, jaise chhaas safed si.

- The Ending - Man! Meera is still married to Kunal , so what if he didn’t accept her. Meera had to go back to Kunal.  Even if they had to make  Meera & Gautam a couple, how can they leave Veronica still single – Salman could have entered in the last frame to embrace Veronica.

- Last, name would have been "Mocktail – Zero percent alcohol

Let’s pray and wish that they don’t ever make Cocktail – 2, and if at all they make, Sooraj Ji is consulted on this. Cheers. 

Saturday, June 30, 2012

The Bombay Times & Your Career!

I must admit that I am a regular reader of Bombay Times because of my love for Bolywood, and it’s the only paper where every Page is a Page 3. I also read Mint because I am highly impressed with the quality of columns, its editor R Sukumar and his ethical editorial practices. (won't boast here that He follows me on twitter)

Well, this article is not about Mint or Bombay Times, it’s about your career. Ok, You are welcome. The key difference between Mint & Bombay Times is their approach towards the “sponsored” items.

Mint & Sponsored Columns:
The Media Marketing Initiatives on Pages 13 and 29 are the equivalent of paid-for advertisements, and no Mint journalists were involved in creating these. Readers would do well to treat them as advertisements

Not only this, Mint Editor puts this on the front page itself ! 

Bombay Times & Sponsored Columns:
Coming to our Bombay Times, these are good guys, just below their masthead, in very fine font, they write: Advertorial, Entertainment Promotional Feature .
Simple Na, no botheration to tell which is sponsored column, which is not. 

Your Career:
Now, to be successful in the Corporate Rat Race, what we all need is our own "Bombay Times" in our offices. If you think working hard will get you all those deserved promotions, this is the end of column for you. Wait, All the best. 

If you have a “Bombay Times” as a spokesperson in your office, He shall keep promoting you at every possible opportunity. If there’s no opportunity, he’ll create it to plug you and sing praises about you. He’ll also structure the conversation that will be interesting enough to grab attention, subtle to not make it very obvious and also give you enough airtime which you can’t ever get yourself. 

Sample this in Bombay Times, today , June 30, 2012:
Very innocuous sounding headline: "When Karan apologised"…. With a steamy picture to attract the average Indian. Now that you are at it, it ends with “Watch Jhalak Dikhhla Ja, tonight at 9pm on Colors”.  Now you know that this was nothing but to promote the Colors show Jhalak Dikhla Ja. This is what your own "Bombay Times" shall do for you.

Let's say, In a meeting of all VPs where your Boss’s Boss is also there: Hey, did you watch yesterday’s Spain vs Italy? Good match na. Actually, I had almost slept but Ajith from Marketing called me to discuss Project Sandwich then. Must say guy is really passionate about his work.

So, go and start finding your Bombay Times, now. 

PS: In case you come across Mint types, stay away. They are pretty straight forward and sometimes, brutally honest.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Unfollowing on Friday!

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Missed Call & The Greatest Indian!

I was travelling when I read a tweet that there’s some contest called “The Greatest Indian”. I thought, like scores of other lists on twitter or about twitter, this would also be some twitter contest. Secretly, now that I have 900 followers, I hoped that even I could be one of the nominees. Soon, I saw some more tweets and realized that it’s big, bigger than I thought. Quickly, I scanned through the links ( The Greatest Indian ) and the nominees (of course, this post wouldn't be there if I was on the list ), and realized the portrayed magnanimity of this.

Since that day, I have been thinking about this, and surprised with the lack of outrage over it. I am still not over with it, and here are some of my reasons.

Concept: Seems the organizers are inspired by the Indian Idol where Anu Malik & other judges decide who reaches top 20 and then they leave it to the public to vote basis caste, creed, state, sex and the X factor.

Gandhi: The very fact that we are calling this “The Greatest Indian after Gandhi” is disturbing. Why not just say - The Greatest Popular Indian – Presented by Reliance and Brought to you by the Outlook, CNN-IBN & History. Why bring Gandhi into this whole thing?

Greatness: Who defines greatness? With voting in the hands of people of today’s generation,  it’s just about popularity. And, to me, Popularity is different than Greatness. To make it easy, there’s difference between Kamaal R Khan & Aamir Khan - one of them is just popular but not great.

Nominees:  It’s baffling to note that the likes of Mother Teresa, B.R.Ambedkar & Jawahar Lal Nehru shall compete with Sunil Gavaskar, Anand, Rajinikanth & Sachin Tendulkar. Won’t be surprised if a Bombay Times reading dude thinks it’s all about choosing between Sachin & Rajnikanth with some other 40 unfamiliar names.

Jury:  Agree that there is a list of 50 nominees to choose from, but what about the Jury. Who selected them? Chetan Bhagat, Shobha De & Vidya Balan–By what standards have they become eligible to choose a successor to Gandhi

Bollywood:  Isn’t this list too Bollywood / Film Industry nominees heavy? Amitabh Bachchan, Raj Kapoor, Rajnikanth, Satyajit Ray, Lata Mangeshkar, A.R. Rahman, Kishore Kumar, Dilip Kumar, Dev Anand, Mohammed Rafi, are 10 among the 50 names.

Missed Call: Now come on, how the hell can we decide something as important as this by “Giving a Missed Call”. Very fact that 900million Indians have access to Mobile, and Missed Call doesn’t cost a dime, takes away the seriousness out of this whole concept. 

The Aftermath:  Now imagine that some dude beats the likes of Mother Teresa & B.R. Ambedkar in this. Won’t be surprised if the Inverter or the telecom company claims that their products are endorsed by the successor of Gandhi.

I finish my rant here, just got a “Missed Call” from my driver. I leave it to all of us either to take this seriously enough or just call it another Indian Idol.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Are you human!

I am sure you all are familiar (and bugged) with this benign looking yet extremely irritating 21st century invention called Captcha.

I am also no fan, yet I think we are underestimating the power of this amazing tool. If applied in real life, it can solve many environmental and other burning issues of recent times.

Getting straight to the point, read on!

Go Green: Next time you go to withdraw money from ATM, and it asks “Would you like a printed receipt” , saying Yes must precede doing a Captcha . I’m sure you’ll rather say No. Or, when you hit that print icon to a 40 page useless PDF manual, you must overcome this challenge. 
 Facebooking: Kind of time we waste checking others’ wedding, travel pics, there should be a captcha to be entered after every 15 minutes you spend on facebook. Now before you mindlessly “Like” that pic of the cute son of your hot classmate, do this.
 Twitter Trolling: Celebs may like to activate this for replies to them. Now imagine you want to tell Sajid Khan “Your movies suck man!” and you have to do a captcha. That’s a different thing that in case of Sajid Khan people shall solve this also.

 Watching Porn: Instead of clicking this obligatory “Continue, I’m over 18” there should be a captcha every time you want to do that stuff late evening. OK.OK. Please carry on, I understand.
Email Mania: Next time you do an avoidable “reply all”, “email joke forward”, it must throw up a captcha.

Online Shopping: I know it supports economy and all that, but what’s the fun in ordering books from flipkart which you never read but just tweet as #NowReading . Now enter this every time you order a new book before reading the older one.

The captcha images featuring here are not mine, I googled them and have used for this blog. In case copyrighted, I’ll be happy to remove them.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Family, TV & The Dirty Picture!

A confession first, I am yet to see The Dirty Picture so still don't know how dirty it is. And, this post is not just about that. I am the same Dad who got disturbed over Vodafone TVC showing "under 10" opposite sex kids "liking" each other. I understand the outrage over our Government disallowing the movie to be telecasted at 12noon – How can bunch of people decide what we can see and what not! Other reason for some getting upset was, if there are already ~56 cuts, the picture isn’t dirty any more. Many said, the same people who were caught watching porn in the assembly, are involved in sex-tapes are now being holier than thou. Point !
Yet, being a Dad, I was still apprehensive about if I can see it with my 7 & 9 year old! You may disagree but, my idea of TV in a family is still that it’s about family viewing. I still think that TV programs, during day time that too on weekends, should be such that people aged 5 to 50 can watch, together.  

I’m sure all those who were outraging over “the dirty picture” ban would have watched the movie with their 7 year old daughter and 70 year old mother, right?

I’m also sure that you had an answer when your 7 year old asks “Papa, aunty kah rahee ki - "Mujhe jo chahiye, uska mazaa sirf raat ko hi aata hain" – kiska maja raat ko aata hai ” .

Won't you get disturbed when your 8 year old laughs hysterically over “Holi khelne ka shauk hai, par teri pichkari me dum nahi..!" and says, “Papa meri pichkari mein to bahut dum hai”.

Now imagine, if a 6 year old asks his Mom – “Mom, can you also make an omlette on your tummy like Vidya Aunty, please na”.

Well, personally, I wouldn’t have watched the movie with my kids or my mom – old school of thought may be. I buy your point that there is no dearth of such exposure these days, Internet, TV Ads, even cartoon shows show such kind of stuff. Yet, why make it so easy for kids that they switch on a popular channel, on a Sunday, and see Vidya Balan showing cleavage or making omlette on her tummy.
Happy to discuss.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Following Passion - Plan B!

Enough of this crap about leave your job to "chase your dream", "do what you love" or "follow your passion". Lucky you! if your job is also your passion. Don't read further.

I am talking about being in a full-time day job,not necessarily your dream, yet pursue your passion. Leaving day job is not easy, if not home loan EMI, In-laws won't let you resign. If your Missus is convinced, desire to upgrade to iphone 5 shall bind you to your job.

Well, every one can't be Chetan Bhagat-who claims that he left his plum job to folow his passion. By the way, the kind of books he write, forget passion, I think he's again in the rat race to make money and fame. Any ways, let's not digress.

I believe that jobs are not meant for having fun, if that was the case, they wouldn't pay you. So, if you are not doing a job that's your passion, that doesn't make you a loser. 

All I suggest is: 
  • Do your job well, bloody well.
  • And, have fun with all the money you make from your job.

Trust me, this is as simple as I say. Let's say you're a management consultant, in-charge of selling some software to customers. That may not be your passion, yet, do it so well that they pay you well.

Now the fun begins, use that money to follow your passion. If painting is what you love, buy the best of painting accessories, hire best of the teachers and enjoy. You love photography, pick up the best SLR and go clicking. If travelling is what you enjoy, just do it.

Those, who say money can't buy happiness, perhaps don't know how to spend it.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

I must be getting old !

I am sure you must have seen this Cadbury Silk TV Commercial. First time I saw this, I kind of liked it, must say I do like most of the Cadbury TVC. Next time when I saw, with my 7 and 9 year old kids around and the song in the back ground - "Kiss me, Close your eyes, Miss Me….. Close Your Eyes, Kiss Me, I can wet your lips and your fingertips and Happiness in your Eyes" I felt little awkward. My kids enjoyed it, even tried humming the jingle and were looking amused-I am sure it was due to the way characters were having chocolate than anything else.

I think, these actors must be in early-teens and these days it may be ok for kids in early teens to develop a liking for chocolate eating opposite sex. Since then, when ever I see this ad, I started focusing on the way they are eating a chocolate instead of the lyrics and the age of the characters. 

Btw, I must acknowledge that when I see those "meethe mein kya hai" ads, I still think that when hubby asks his wife "meethe mein kya hai" , his eyes suggests he is hinting beyond cadbury. Anyways, let's not digress. 

Then came, this Vodafone TVC. Again, I liked the concept and even kids are very cute. But,  early-teens was still ok, but what the hell is this going on here. I'm sure now the characters are not more than 9-10 years old.  Now, a 9 year old having a crush ! What are we portraying here?

I may have liked "Maine Pyaar Kiya" but  I'm certainly not from the generation which thinks "Ek Ladka aur Ladki kabhi dost nahin ho satke", yet, showing 9-10 year olds developing such liking for opposite sex. 

 Isn't it too much, Or, it's just that I am getting old?