Friday, October 29, 2010

Quit India Movement - Bollywood Edition

The year is 1942 , Mahatma Gandhi just called our Bollywood Celebs to join the Quit India movement , and this is what they have to say.

@udaychopra - It’s not always nice to use the word Quit , lets go on the other side and say “Come” – Daya Prochu

@DuttaLara – Dear @maheshbhupathi , these guys are calling for some Quit India , let’s quit india and go to france.

@iamsrk – terribly busy with ra-two , now playing Quit India on PS3 , farhan and me will beat the shit out of them.

 @SrBachchan – T1942 Pahle us aadmi ko lekar aao jisne akshay ko jackass bola tha. Baapu,  phir tum jahan bologe , mein aoonga.

@priyankachopra – Long day , farhan and srk are playing quit india , I am the cheer leader, I love bhagat singh xoxo.

@shahidkapoor – what’s this quilt india ? I like Jaipuri Quilt. Now off on my Harley for a ride .Broadband is erotic , shabbakhair.

@realpreityzinta – Good morning folks ! I’ll not join any movement against Brits as University of London is giving me a honorary doctorate.

@Riteishd – Rajnikant’s new movie is called Quitter , he’ll make India quit from this planet.

@RGVzoomin – Quit India movie is so violent that even Rakht Charitra would like a family function in Karan Johar’s movies

@kjohar25 – Off to London for a Quit India theme fashion show with Gauri and Susanne.

@iHrithik – Amgrezo , meri  GUZAARISH  hai ki Bharat Chhodo , btw Sanjay Leela rocks.

@Ayeshatakia - :) :)

@GulPanag – I am on my way to chandigarh, in Shatabdi.  btw recording this whole Quit India movement on my #tataskyplus.

Also starring
@chetan_bhagat - Please Quit India and join CB Land , my INDEPENDENT nation , comprising of all girls hostels. TROLLS , PLEASE EXCUSE.  #househusband

Disclaimer : The stars in this blog may be real but they have been playing fictitious characters all their real or reel life and always claim that  any resemblance to persons living , dead  or in between is purely coincidental , so be it. 

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Fortune at the bottom of this pyramid !

Sounds familiar, right ? Gone are the days when people used to tell their salaries as 16400 – 750- 19000 , and what they actually use to get was much more. These days, you may flaunt your CTC (Cost to the company) as your salary but what you get is much less and well known to your wife and the neighbourhood friendly bank which has given you a Home Loan and a Credit Card.

I was trying to guage what Venkat Balsubbu thinks about this whole CTC issue. “What the hell, what’s this CTC issue and what’s your pyramid thing , it’s all trash. I don’t believe this, my beloved employer provides me much more than this, I actually believe there is fortune at the bottom of this CTC Pyramid” says Balsubbu

Seeing a bewildered me, he paused to explain. Your salary is not just what gets credited in your account, there are numerous perks which people don’t tell.

A few of them include:

·         Those free sips of tea and coffee, ( Many of us depend on office for our entire caffeine requirement, don’t we?).
·         Devouring those free lunches, (one can’t resist free lunches even when on a strictest of diets!)
·         A few ( rather i must say many ) personal calls ,here and there, that we sneak in from the office phone (now, don’t tell me you are not one of those!).
·         Colour printouts you take every week for your kids’ homework . Some of us even print our CVs for Job Applications in office.
·         All the personal surfing and emails to our friends.
·         Amount of free GPRS bandwidth you consume on Facebook , Twitter and Orkut on your BlackBerry.
·         Some take PostIt , StaplerPins and even writing pads home.
·         How can we forget numerous official visits to distant towns , planned so that you can attend your relative’s marriage and bring your wife and kids back from their summer vacation.

Last and not the least , most of us get paid believing we’ll work for 7-8 hrs a day .
Keep your hand on the heart and tell me , how many days a year you actually work 7 hrs a day !

Saying this Venkat walked away to collect color printout of Hannah Montana for his daughter. 

Saturday, October 16, 2010

New Nationalised Twitter

NewTwitter would be launched first in Tembhli - Maharashtra on pilot basis.
Now , The New Birdie

  • 40 out of 140 characters would be for the reserved category.
  • VIPs would be able to tweet up to 160 characters.
  • Twitter would be available from 9-5 , Monday to Friday.
  • Twitter Dry Day on Gandhi Jayanti , Republic and Independence Day.
  • People with > 350 followers would have to pay wealth tax.
  • User names have to be Unique IDs or Pan Numbers.
  • All Mumbaites would have to end every tweet with #JaiMaharashtra
  • Handles would be renewed every 5 years after mandatory police verification.

Now , The Nationalised FailWhale

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Oh Yeah , We’re the CrackVerry Boys

We wear  fake attitude
We deserve no gratitude
We’re the CrackVerry Boys
Oh yeah
We’re the CrackVerry Boys
We’re Medicore , But we’re Arrogant
We’re very very Arrogant
We’re the CrackVerry Boys
Oh yeah
We’re the CrackVerry Boys
We do PowerPoints
and we do mail
We do meetings
We do all in vain.
Oooo, ooo, ooo, hoooo
Cos We’re the CrackVerry Boys
Oh yeah
We’re the CrackVerry Boys
Na na na
We’re the CrackVerry Boys
Oh yeah
We’re the CrackVerry Boys

Sunday, October 03, 2010

Why Kashmir doesn't get solved on my timeline ?

click on the image to view .

To view on TwitPic , click here