Monday, March 28, 2011

Today is Monday, Run,Run,Run,Run !

This is my tribute to the very talented, 13 year old, Rebecca Black. If you haven't heard of her, you deserve to face her music. Go, google her song "Friday" , watch and then come back. Chances are that you'll never come back.

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

6am, waking up in the mornin
Gotta be fresh, gotta go gym
Feelin sleepy, go back to the bed
7am, tryin waking up again
Gotta have tea, pick up the Times
Gotta hit the loo with Bombay Times
Gotta start car and go to office

Kickin in the front seat
Honkin like mad
Honkin on and on , everbody’s rushin
Oh no, about to hit the bugger in santro
Honk more, abuse and move on

Reached office, yeah one with 2 effs
It’s Monday, Monday
Yeah , some call it  Mournday
Mournday, Mundane
Everyone looking backward to the weekend

Cricket, Cricket ( Yeah)
Cricket, Cricket (Yeah)
Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun
Thinkin about the weekend

10:30, we’re in a meetin
Tea, Coffee and some cookies
We’re deep divin in the numbers
You know what it is
Wake me up when it’s over
I do this, you do this
Every office, we all do this

It’s Monday, Monday
Gotta get down on Mournday
Everybody’s thinkin about the  weekend, weekend
Monday, Mundane

Meeting, Meetin ( Yeah)
Meetin, Meetin (Yeah)
Run, Run, Run, Run
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

Yesterday was Sunday, Sunday
Today is Monday, Monday, Monday
We-we-we so bugged
We so bugged
We gonna have a meetin today

Tomorrow is Tuesday
And Wednesday comes after...wards
I  want this week to end

Meeting, Meetin ( Yeah)
Meetin, Meetin (Yeah)
Run, Run, Run, Run
Lookin’ forward to the weekend.

In case you, your boss or subordinate want to sing the song or record an album , feel free to copy. 

Saturday, March 19, 2011

What to say when you got nothing to say.



Saturday, March 12, 2011

Venusians on Twitter !

This post is a result of extensive research and study, my sample size was approximately 3 women and Two and a Half men, many of them not even on twitter.By the end of this post you would know how to differentiate a Male tweep ( usually from Mars, wandering on earth) from a Female tweep (also owns the earth,  from venus though)  or vice versa (Refer Disclaimer). This post doesn't cover Archana, Farah or Bieber for obvious reasons.

So let's start, how to identify a female tweep.

Display Profile: It’s a no-brainer, one with pretty DPs are usually women. Some time you’ll see only half face with pretty eyes, only eyes, side pose , ever smiling face, and also some frequently changing DPs. Please ensure you don't stare for long, in past many men are caught viewing womens' DP on full-screen mode.
Twitter Handle: Handles are bit confusing, say @adi may be Aditya, Aditi or AdIndia, so arriving at a conclusion on the basis of handle alone is not good enough. Let's say even for @jyoti and @laxmi don't assume they are women as it could be Jyotiraditya or Laxmipati Balaji. So don’t try judging by handles, if by any chance you see some explicit mention says @RitzHotChick, safely assume that it’s an Orkutiya in disguise.

Bio: Well, for female species, 140 characters are never enough to describe, still you can get some subtle hints from the Bios.

[“I am that 80s girl, literally”]  [“Part-time writer, full time mum”] [“Scorpion, Non believer, Shopaholic”]  [“ hubby’s handle is @vikaspgoel”]  [“Chatterbox , Tweet a lot, and an Arjun Rampal fan”]  [“Drama Queen”] 

Tweets: Last and the most are the tweets itself, some sample tweets you are unlikely to see from a male tweep are: 
“Son won an award today, so proud” - Dads are equally proud, but hardly tweet.
“Guy I had a crush in school is so fat now”. - Sour grapes
“Bad day, Little darling Jacky didn’t eat properly”  or simply “I love Jacky”– Though it’s sure that tweeter is a woman, but Jacky may be dog, boy friend , husband or driver.
“Off to Gym still craving for that chocolate cake” - usually tweeted by fittest of female species to create complex among other members of same species.
“Fed up with these orkutiyas, some one help please” - This is just a self-confidence building measure.
"There r ***** guys in d world" - Means nothing, but results in many mentions.
"No one wants to talk to me" - Actually a trap, guys start replying and she'll vanish or declare the guy a stalker.

Finally, stereotyping this species is almost suicidal, so it's always better to avoid generalizing and go by your own experience. 

Disclaimer:  None of the above tips are 100% fool proof, so author takes no responsibility if you err, by the way why do you want to find out if a tweep is a man or a woman on Twitter, focus on real life instead.

Saturday, March 05, 2011

I accept responsibility

“I accept responsibility”. I know that you know who said this, but before you jump your guns, take a pause, and think about it. This is not that three word sentence that every teenager keeps on muttering to other teenager of  opposite sex (some times same sex also). It’s deep.

Saying this is not easy, just try remembering when did you last say this. On that BMI scale, I am overweight by 10kg, still, I blame my wife, mother, office and Ray Krok for this.

Last time I heard something similar from a person holding public office( need not google, this is my own definition of public office) was Steve Jobs. He didn't say this exactly, but he was close, and the kind of person he is, saying this was more than enough- “We're not Perfect”.
Now let's not compare the two epic personalities because they are altogether different -

One of them wears a blue turban and other blue denims. One of them did complete his studies to get a doctorate while other dropped out from the college

One is a leader who is widely respected by other leaders and even Newsweek Magazine said "the leader other leaders love" while other is hated, possibly by all so called leaders sitting in their corner offices. 

One of them takes his own decisions and hardly listens, yes only one of them.

One is ever willing to resign and retire while other came back even after getting sacked , and wants to be at the helm always.

Only similarity I see is that succession for both is an issue.

So all I want to say is when these two can accept responsibility, why can't we?

Be it our work-life or personal life, our relationships, our commitment to our society, family and friends, let's be courageous enough to say -  "I accept responsibility".