Today is Monday, Run,Run,Run,Run !

This is my tribute to the very talented, 13 year old, Rebecca Black. If you haven't heard of her, you deserve to face her music. Go, google her song "Friday" , watch and then come back. Chances are that you'll never come back.

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

6am, waking up in the mornin
Gotta be fresh, gotta go gym
Feelin sleepy, go back to the bed
7am, tryin waking up again
Gotta have tea, pick up the Times
Gotta hit the loo with Bombay Times
Gotta start car and go to office

Kickin in the front seat
Honkin like mad
Honkin on and on , everbody’s rushin
Oh no, about to hit the bugger in santro
Honk more, abuse and move on

Reached office, yeah one with 2 effs
It’s Monday, Monday
Yeah , some call it  Mournday
Mournday, Mundane
Everyone looking backward to the weekend

*Flashback*
Cricket, Cricket ( Yeah)
Cricket, Cricket (Yeah)
Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun
Thinkin about the weekend

10:30, we’re in a meetin
Tea, Coffee and some cookies
We’re deep divin in the numbers
You know what it is
Wake me up when it’s over
I do this, you do this
Every office, we all do this

[Chorus]
It’s Monday, Monday
Gotta get down on Mournday
Everybody’s thinkin about the  weekend, weekend
Monday, Mundane

Meeting, Meetin ( Yeah)
Meetin, Meetin (Yeah)
Run, Run, Run, Run
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

[Bridge]
Yesterday was Sunday, Sunday
Today is Monday, Monday, Monday
We-we-we so bugged
We so bugged
We gonna have a meetin today

Tomorrow is Tuesday
And Wednesday comes after...wards
I  want this week to end

Meeting, Meetin ( Yeah)
Meetin, Meetin (Yeah)
Run, Run, Run, Run
Lookin’ forward to the weekend.

In case you, your boss or subordinate want to sing the song or record an album , feel free to copy. 

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Bell, Curve & Venkat's last working day.

To: The Boss
CC: All Team Mates

As many, rather all of you know that today is my last working day here. But, before I leave, let me thank all of you for giving me this opportunity, I mean the opportunity to look for a new job and, courage  to write this email.

First, I would like to thank Reena, 2 years junior to me at IIIT, still working at my level ie Asst Vice President . I thank you for making me realise that “performance is not the only thing” . Yes, the cute teddy bear on your desk, which your “cousin” gave you, was exactly the same Boss bought from Changi Airport for his “cousin”.

Ramesh, just 2 months back Boss hired you from a small time company. I always use to think that inspite of an MBA from some SurajMal Institute - Hanumangarh, how come you managed to join an MNC like ours. Then, that day in Project Dynamic success party, when we all were high, you told me that Boss’s *beautiful* wife Nisha is also from Hanumangarh. I also believe in "Family First” and now you can call her Nisha Didi.

Gloria, though you were just Boss’s secy but you always will have a special place in my life. Every time I went to a foreign  trip, you always asked for PSP games for your son. Way you use to enquire prices ( on my international roaming though) , I always went for the best deals and kept my bills safely . By the way, in the last 2 years , you owe me USD 540 , and I still have those bills.

Last, and the most, Boss, thanks for everything. Thanks for humiliating me in front of Reena, and telling me to be like her, I can’t be like her because those operations cost a lot. Thanks for telling me, throughout the year, that I am doing extremely well but still rating me “Just meets expectations” and blaming it on that “Bell Curve”, I know which "Curve" rings your "Bell". Thanks for making me pay for many lunches we had together, pretending that your Gucci wallet is in office drawer.

And, when you get call in reference to my next employment , I am sure you would say “ exceeded expectations and a great team player ” . Because, that day, after Project Dynamic party, when you were “Dirty Dancing” with XXXXX , my iPhone’s camera was working.

Once again, thank you all and be in touch with me at Venkat33 @ hotmail.com

Venkat.

By vikaspgoel | View this Toon at ToonDoo | Create your own Toon

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AntiSocial Networking – LinkedIn Special

LinkedIn has more than 70 million registered users, spanning more than 200 countries , and that’s more than enough reason to be proud of – One in 70 million , that’s YOU and this also gives you a very prestigious social status – Man is a social animal.

Lets see how collectively we can abuse this whole thing and get antisocial – am sure you would have done this at some point or other but lets do a recap for benefit of the antisocial network at large.

Never Say No

I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

I know you are trying to remember the title of the book which was something like “Never say No , When you want to say Yes” . So the moment you see “I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.” – immediately say YES. You may not recollect now who’s the person then do you know who stays on 5^th floor , flat number 501 of your society . So just click confirm – anyhow always remember “Atithi Devo Bhava”

Endorse all n sundry

“Can you endorse me” –

Dear Vikas,

I'm sending this to ask you for a brief recommendation of my work that I can include in my LinkedIn profile. If you have any questions, let me know. Thanks in advance for helping me out.

What What ! you don’t know him enough , just worked with him for 2 days or he was just a passing acquaintance in your last job . Come on , don’t be a snob – all that guy is requesting you is a “recommendation” . So just go ahead and do it . What , Come again – you don’t know what to write . Now that’s the real challenge if you are not good at words , okay let me give you a hint . Dust off your old “wren n martin “ , see what is an adjective – pick any one at random and make a sentence and Bingo .

Never be negative in making any recommendations , even if you hated that fellow , control your emotions and say

"I am happy to say that this candidate is a FORMER colleague of mine." Or

"I can assure you that NO person would be better for the job."

People you may know

Trust me , LinkedIn goes all the way out to find out this list , its handpicked for you , so never insult that and invite every body featuring in this list .Its displayed at the Right- Top corner of the your profile page . Initially you ‘ll think that “what if” if other person doesn’t accept your request . Remember , Atithi Devo Bhava and by now he / she also has read “Never say no” , so just invite . The more you do , more confident you’ll feel.

Happy Abusing , Man is a social ANIMAL.

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