Saturday, December 04, 2010

New Year Resolution 2011

Some of you may wonder that it's really early to think about New Year 2011 resolutions in the first week of  December 2010 , but you see “I'm different”. So this year , I'll be planning in advance. Let me give you some popular and repeated New Year Resolutions.
So , while you may pick one of these , I won't because “I'm different”.

So here I go with my 2011 New Year resolutions.

1. I'll stop reading movie reviews by Rajeev Masand, Taran Adarsh or for that matter any one , not only because they are biased but also because of huge inconsistency . Reviews of Khele Hum Jee Jan Se varied from Half a Star to Four Stars. I demand Govt. nationalise this whole movie rating business.

2. I won't Hashtag any scam next year in my tweets, frequently Hashtagging 2G, CWG, Adarsh, Radia etc has taken a heavy toll on 'Q' key on my Blackberry which shares the '#' symbol. 

3. I'll continue reading columns by Celeb Journo ( you know whom I am talking about) , but only when I am in mood to read fiction and not able to find my book "1001 Political Jokes".

4. Number Portability is certainly not for me, not because that I Love my service provider, but I don't want to make Govt. job easy to tap my phone.

5. I'll follow Chetan Bhagat , no- no not because I love him but through him I can easily know what Shejan Padamsee, Celina Jaitly and other Bollywood damsels are saying.

6. I'll go for fast unto death ( yet to decide whose death) OR drive from Borivali to Nariman Point during peak hours, to bring Arnab Goswami on Twitter. Yes, I Love Him, while you all were making fun of Kalmadi , he relentlessly interviewed him without even letting him speak.

7. You guessed it right, Fitness or Dieting won't be my New Year resolution . McDonalds and KFC employ almost 2 million people worldwide, Think about it.

8. I’ll go by I&B Ministry's advice and let them decide what my kids should watch. Have sent them all the tapes of Hannah Montana , Ninja Hattori, Power Rangers to check if It's appropriate for my 6 and 8 year old kids.

9. I'll watch every movie of Uday Chopra because Mom says "No gain without some pain".

10. Oh, I just found my 2007 New Year resolutions, I think I’ll go by them in order to save paper. Remember , Recycle, Reuse & Reduce.

Happy New Year.

Why weight loss shouldn't be your New Year Resolution 2011. 
1. To begin with, let's avoid anything to do with this extremely negative word 'Loss' - Robin Sharma is right , let's talk about “Gain” not “Loss”.

2. If you think losing weight is sexy and girls like it , you're wrong. Shane Warne weighs 85 kg and poor Arun Nayar is at least 10kg lighter. I won’t post Liz’s pics here , please google.

3. Some say , if you lose weight, you'll live longer – Even if it’s true , what's the fun in living a long life when you spent half of your life worrying and thinking about losing something. Even Rujuta Diwekar says that most of us "Lose mind to Lose weight" then why try.

4. Why don't you get in shape? If this bothers you perhaps you didn't study physics, maths, whatever carefully. 'Round' is a shape, and an awesome shape.

5. Are you scared of your height? No na , then why get scared of your width. Love every “dimension” of your life.

6. Rooney says, “The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.”.

7. For those who are little scientific in their approach , let me bust this myth. You may have heard of something called Body Mass Index or BMI.

                   Weight in kilograms
     BMI =      ——————————
                   Height in meters²

Now tell me , how can this be correct , when we all know we can't increase our height, so all we are left with weight. It's an absolutely one sided formula, better ignored.

8. Think about millions of people employed directly or indirectly by KFC and McDonalds. Now if all of a sudden, you stop buying French Fries , who'll feed thousands of farmers and their kids who grow potatos.

9. You really think that Dieting is good for health , when the word itself begins with Die. It's suicidal and attempting suicide is a crime in many countries. Still if you want to Die , why not Die Eating.

10. To lose weight, they say "Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper" , This is ridiculous , when you get a chance to Be a King , three times a day , why be a pauper at all.

Last, and the most, Look at this. Period.

Disclaimer : Views expressed here are those of the author, and he may have "dressed it up" to suit certain "Waisted Interests".


Shiv said...

You are different!

BK Chowla, said...

The best way to success is to keep trying. The resolutions are not really difficult.

Anonymous said...

Your blog bought a smile to my face

lamBloggers™ said...

we have common resolutions that I never listed...

Anonymous said...

Being different always is not something different...

brinda said...

nice list.. wonder how the resolutions stand 3 months from jan ? :)