Quality Time at Office Office

'Quality time' (QT) is an informal reference to time spent with loved ones (e.g., close family, friends) which is in some way important, special, productive or profitable. It is time that is set aside for paying full and undivided attention to the person/matter at hand. - Wikepedia

So if you noticed , there are two key things about quality time here :

• Spent with Loved ones

• Full and Undivided attention

The good part is that your Office / Boss can’t demand of your quality time unless you are in love with your Office, Boss or Both. I know free coffee, free internet, airconditioning, occasional Best Employee Certificate etc may cause love with your office, but your Hari Sadu will help in getting over it. Still if you are in love with your office, don’t worry, it will be cured – at least once a year - during your appraisals.

Some have a problem of falling in love with their Boss, this is little tricky, then you’ll have to remember the famous dialogue in Maine Pyaar Kiya , Corporate Edition – “Ek boss aur ek sub-ordinate kabhi dost nahin ho sakte”. In case this also doesn’t help, marry your boss – there won’t be any love left.

Other important part of this word quality time is undivided attention. Now to me , this undivided attention is the biggest myth, don’t believe, ask Rishi Vishwamitra. The moment you start concentrating on one task in office, nearing close to 60% of that undivided concentration – you’ll see a mail dropping in your In-Box from your boss saying - need that strategy paper by end of day today. Now the important thing which you were doing has gone to back burner , and you start thinking about this.

You head towards your boss’s cubicle, and see him animatedly talking over phone . “ ya… sure…I’ll get it…No No …won’t forget…7pm , color print…ya …ok…Bye” . So you think, it must be the Super Boss asking the strategy paper by 7 pm . No , it was his wife , asking for the color printouts of “7 wonders of the world” for his daughter’s school project.

You come back to your desk, and there’s one more email from your boss, now it’s a forward which describes – Malinga before and after .

Malinga - After the worldcup

Now you start thinking, to who all you should forward this, and the life goes on.

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Cricket is not a religion!

Let me begin with a disclaimer that my knowledge of religion is limited. My knowledge of cricket is even more limited as till sometimes back I thought Sreesanth is a dancer cum water boy, fine leg reminded me of Bipasha in Dhoom and Mandira Bedi was only popular for her role in Shanti.

Ok, on the day of the cricket world cup final, let me admit here, my interest in cricket is much more than my religion and it has nothing to do with Poonam Pandey.

One thing I still believe in, is - Cricket is not a religion.

• Did you ever see riots happening over cricket?
• Do you know of any book on cricket which is banned?
• Have you come across any cleric who said he’ll burn copy of “Sunny Days”?
• Did your mom ever say that you can watch cricket only after taking bath?
• Cricket unites but religion divides!
• You think, the talented Poonam Pandey would ever undress for a religious party?
• Today also, if a WC11 cricket match were to be hosted, Ram Lalla, Sunni Waqf Board and Nirmohi Akhara , all would offer their piece of land .
• Have you seen political parties going mad over cricket?
• Do you think this guy would have become God, had he followed religion instead of cricket?

And last , and the most, unlike religion , in Cricket there’s only one God. 

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Today is Monday, Run,Run,Run,Run !

This is my tribute to the very talented, 13 year old, Rebecca Black. If you haven't heard of her, you deserve to face her music. Go, google her song "Friday" , watch and then come back. Chances are that you'll never come back.

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

6am, waking up in the mornin
Gotta be fresh, gotta go gym
Feelin sleepy, go back to the bed
7am, tryin waking up again
Gotta have tea, pick up the Times
Gotta hit the loo with Bombay Times
Gotta start car and go to office

Kickin in the front seat
Honkin like mad
Honkin on and on , everbody’s rushin
Oh no, about to hit the bugger in santro
Honk more, abuse and move on

Reached office, yeah one with 2 effs
It’s Monday, Monday
Yeah , some call it  Mournday
Mournday, Mundane
Everyone looking backward to the weekend

*Flashback*
Cricket, Cricket ( Yeah)
Cricket, Cricket (Yeah)
Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun
Thinkin about the weekend

10:30, we’re in a meetin
Tea, Coffee and some cookies
We’re deep divin in the numbers
You know what it is
Wake me up when it’s over
I do this, you do this
Every office, we all do this

[Chorus]
It’s Monday, Monday
Gotta get down on Mournday
Everybody’s thinkin about the  weekend, weekend
Monday, Mundane

Meeting, Meetin ( Yeah)
Meetin, Meetin (Yeah)
Run, Run, Run, Run
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

[Bridge]
Yesterday was Sunday, Sunday
Today is Monday, Monday, Monday
We-we-we so bugged
We so bugged
We gonna have a meetin today

Tomorrow is Tuesday
And Wednesday comes after...wards
I  want this week to end

Meeting, Meetin ( Yeah)
Meetin, Meetin (Yeah)
Run, Run, Run, Run
Lookin’ forward to the weekend.

In case you, your boss or subordinate want to sing the song or record an album , feel free to copy. 

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What to say when you got nothing to say.

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Venusians on Twitter !

This post is a result of extensive research and study, my sample size was approximately 3 women and Two and a Half men, many of them not even on twitter.By the end of this post you would know how to differentiate a Male tweep ( usually from Mars, wandering on earth) from a Female tweep (also owns the earth,  from venus though)  or vice versa (Refer Disclaimer). This post doesn't cover Archana, Farah or Bieber for obvious reasons.

So let's start, how to identify a female tweep.

Display Profile: It’s a no-brainer, one with pretty DPs are usually women. Some time you’ll see only half face with pretty eyes, only eyes, side pose , ever smiling face, and also some frequently changing DPs. Please ensure you don't stare for long, in past many men are caught viewing womens' DP on full-screen mode.

Twitter Handle: Handles are bit confusing, say @adi may be Aditya, Aditi or AdIndia, so arriving at a conclusion on the basis of handle alone is not good enough. Let's say even for @jyoti and @laxmi don't assume they are women as it could be Jyotiraditya or Laxmipati Balaji. So don’t try judging by handles, if by any chance you see some explicit mention says @RitzHotChick, safely assume that it’s an Orkutiya in disguise.

Bio: Well, for female species, 140 characters are never enough to describe, still you can get some subtle hints from the Bios.

[“I am that 80s girl, literally”]  [“Part-time writer, full time mum”] [“Scorpion, Non believer, Shopaholic”]  [“ hubby’s handle is @vikaspgoel”]  [“Chatterbox , Tweet a lot, and an Arjun Rampal fan”]  [“Drama Queen”] 

Tweets: Last and the most are the tweets itself, some sample tweets you are unlikely to see from a male tweep are: 

“Son won an award today, so proud” - Dads are equally proud, but hardly tweet.

“Guy I had a crush in school is so fat now”. - Sour grapes

“Bad day, Little darling Jacky didn’t eat properly”  or simply “I love Jacky”– Though it’s sure that tweeter is a woman, but Jacky may be dog, boy friend , husband or driver.

“Off to Gym still craving for that chocolate cake” - usually tweeted by fittest of female species to create complex among other members of same species.

“Fed up with these orkutiyas, some one help please” - This is just a self-confidence building measure.
"There r ***** guys in d world" - Means nothing, but results in many mentions.
"No one wants to talk to me" - Actually a trap, guys start replying and she'll vanish or declare the guy a stalker.


Finally, stereotyping this species is almost suicidal, so it's always better to avoid generalizing and go by your own experience. 

Disclaimer:  None of the above tips are 100% fool proof, so author takes no responsibility if you err, by the way why do you want to find out if a tweep is a man or a woman on Twitter, focus on real life instead.

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