I am not Gandhi, even you're not.

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Writing it off !

Writing is not easy, writing regularly is even more difficult. Hats off to people like Madhavan Narayanan , Sidin Vadukut, Jhunjhunwala, Faking News and many others who write regularly, week after week and write bloody well.

I try writing on weekends and my cues are usually on current affairs, on Bollywood or Corporate Life ( an oxymoron though). I wrote twice about Bollywood movies; ZNMD & MBKD, and both the movies did financially well. I thought, this week too, let me go and spend 1000 bucks on watching Mausam and write about it, was afraid that it my spoil my track record of writing about “Box Office Hit Movies". I also wanted to save money for the iphone5,  and dropped the idea.

Clueless about what to write, this Paris Hilton thing happened. Like all seasoned researchers I also started my research with google.  Within 0.13 seconds, I got 143,000,000 results.  Now google pointed me to pages that cannot be opened without  declaring “Continue, I’m over 18” and then putting the “family filter” off.  With kids around, I shelved the plan and decided to do a "safe" twitter search and landed on her twitter page. 
Bio : Model, Actress, Singer, Brand, Business Woman, Fashion Designer, Author, Philanthropist and Empire.
I always thought she is just famous for being filthy rich and releasing her short videos which people in India call MMS. She has close to 4.8 million followers which is almost 100 times the followers our very own and equally talented Poonam Pandey has. I think India got her wrong, she’s much more than what India think she is famous for.

Still, I thought let me tweet something about her to check what people want and in a few tweets realized that men want to “see” more of her not “read” about her, dropped the idea of writing about her.

Then, this Vinod Kambli’s pic caught my attention. Later I realized that he has announced his retirement from cricket. Retirement!! I don’t follow cricket that keenly but atleast know this much that he’s not even part of any Ghatkopar or even Kandivali east cricket team, then what the hell is this retirement. Any how, wishing him the best of “retired” life, I moved on.

Continuing with cricket, I noted that Shoaib Akhtar is trending on twitter. Came to know that the guy is in India to promote his new book. Already disturbed with the fact that every Tom, Dick and Banker has taken up writing, Shoaib’s new book really upset the aspiring writer in me.  Still Ok, but what the hell is there to trend. OMG, he said, “Sachin , Dravid were scared of me”.  So what big deal, he’s doing that for the publicity. Our Bollywood does these stunts every Friday.

Fed up with all this, I dropped the idea of writing all together this week.

Insignificantly Yours

Vikas Goel

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Mere Brother ki Dulhan

I am just back after watching this movie. I feel you should also watch it. If you are still hesitant, pick any of these reasons and get going.

• It’s a family movie, I mean when did you last come across a movie which had two family members in the movie title itself – Brother and Dulhan.
• You are a big time Katrina fan, and, you don’t have access to youtube where you can watch her Aamsutra ad.
• Any thing to do with Imran Khan must be good. He still remains your favorite, especially after his split with Jemina Khan, oh wait.
• You are a firm believer that it’s our obligation to promote a movie which has an actor from Pakistan. Especially when every other attempt to bring peace between the two countries has already failed.
• You are big fan of Taran Adarsh, John Abraham or both. ( Yes, I said John Abraham )
• Any thing which can be abbreviated to four alphabets ending with letter D is your idea of fun – ZNMD , **PD, MBKD etc.
• You can’t believe that someone can mashup good movies like Sorry Bhai and Monsoon Wedding and still do a pathetic job.
• You watch every Yash Raj movie because you had a dream that one day Aditya Chopra would do a cameo and you’ll get to see him.
• AC at your home is not working and electrician says it’ll take around 3 hours to get it repaired.
•  Last, but not the least, you are still miffed with Team India's performance in England and want to punish yourself. 

 Please note that this is not a paid review, and no animals have been harmed while writing this post.Tweet

I am corrupt, You?

As you all know, I am a simple, God Loving, Wife Fearing, Middle Class Indian.  I must say,  after this Anna Phenomenon, and Media saying that it’s all because of the Great Indian Middle Class, I am more than proud to belong to this class. Other wise, after buying a 1 ½  BHK, carpet area of 480 sq ft, with borrowed money, in Mumbai suburbs, I had started thinking that I had moved up a notch.

The recent furor over corruption always made me wonder–When it comes to corruption, why we only talk about the public servants?  Are they the only ones  who could be corrupt , no one else?

Well, this made me do what any average middle class, internet accessing Indian would do, Google “What is corruption?”.

And these were the results –

Dishonest or fraudulent conduct by those in power, typically involving bribery . Lack of integrity or honesty (especially susceptibility to bribery); use of a position of trust for dishonest gain.

Then I also checked “What is bribe?” –

Money or any other valuable consideration given or promised with a view to persuade or induce the behavior of person.

Now that I knew what corruption and bribe were, I was clear that Team Anna is in the right direction -Average Indian Middle Class can’t be corrupt. 

I was about to switch-off and hit the bed when my daughter came in begging, Papa please explain the meaning of this -

Bura Jo Dekhan Main Chala, Bura Naa Milya Koye !

Jo Munn Khoja Apnaa, To Mujhse Bura Naa Koye !!

By the time I was done explaining, I knew something was wrong.

• When my son refused to eat green vegetables, didn’t I say -if you eat this for a week I’ll buy you a new BeyBlade.
• Didn’t I say “yes” when the computer service guy asked “Sir, got some new games, should I copy on your laptop”.
• Didn’t I visit www.songs.pk to download the latest Bodyguard songs composed by the very talented Himesh Reshammiya and Pritam.
• Didn’t I say “yes” when the interior designer said, “Sir, if you insist on full bill – will have to pay service tax”.
• Didn’t I pay 500 to a temple agent to get a quicker access to God when I visited the Shani temple.
• Parents doing kids' homework or school projects to ensure that kids get better grades.
• Agar tu mujhe tera program(source code) dega toh main tujhe us ladki ka contact details dunga! via TaiyouSun
• Don't we say "God, please get my job done, 101 ka prasad chadhaunga" via amancool5

Before you start criticising the "system" , just think - Is Hamam mein sab nange hain !. 

 PS: If you got some more examples of corruption in every day life, feel free to tweet or comment, will be happy to include ( with credits ).

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Don't feel like going to office?

As usual, today also Vencut got up at 6.30 am, rubbing his eyes he picked up daily bunch of news papers lying at the door and hit the sofa. Unlike every morning, when he use to start his day reading Economic Times while checking emails on his Blackberry, today he picked up The Bombay Times first. His blackberry was lying unattended, ignored and wondering why its master (rather slave) is ignoring her.

His wife noticed that Vencut is staring that Vidya Balan’s “the dirty picture” for last five minutes and the tea almost got cold.

“Venky, Are you Ok? Should I make you some more hot tea ? I never knew you liked Vidya that much”, asked his wife.

Vencut, still lost, said “Darling, I don’t feel like going to office, let’s go out for a long drive”.

“You don’t want to go to office OR You want to go for a long drive?” , asked wife. 

Vencut, already frustrated, shouted “what’s the difference?”  By now, his wife has already gone into the bathroom for a shower.

Vencut started thinking  about her question again “You don’t want to go to office OR you want to go for a long drive”. She was right, there was a huge difference, and actually – He just didn’t want to go to office.

I am sure Vencut is not the only one, it must have happened to you as well. There are days when you don’t want to go to office, for some, these days are almost five times a week. Never mind.

Well, when it comes to work, I believe there could be only two philosophies -

- Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

- Work is not supposed to give you happiness, if it was, why would you get paid.

Now if you claim you are in the first category, either you are a Pornstar or a liar. If you think, MS Dhoni also fits into the first category, just check with him once especially after that England tour. Emraan Hashmi - not again, kissing may be fun but acting is certainly not. 

If you are not in the first category, here are my two cents.

Just think of five things which gives you happiness, Now, see if any of these activities pay you as well. Think harder. OK, stop thinking - you won't find one. 


Well, in short – Lift your damn ass and go to office, no one will pay you to be happy. 

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