Great Indian Middle Class and the Science of Gifting.

I am also part of Indian Middle Class, not only it reflects in my less than abundant income but also on my abundant “middle” – so don’t take it personally .

It starts with a humble invitation to your son for a birthday party and, the ordeal begins. Parents quickly get into a huddle and start discussing as if Bhutan has attacked India, all they are deciding is what to gift?.  It’s a big thing, and it’s a rocket science. 

To make your job easier, here are rules which you must keep in mind before buying that gift.

Venue of the party: It’s a big thing, an average buffet lunch at the Yellow Chilli at Powai or a meal at Piizza Hut costs around 300, so take that into consideration. Actually, lunch at five star would be more than 1500 per person but as I said it’s about middle class, so forget it. 

Quid Pro Quo: You may have heard “What you give is what you get”, so rack your brains on what you got when it was your kid’s b’day. You can always use a magnifying glass to read the price tag of those gifts. If you are confused between 699 or 899, assume it’s 699, add inflation and you are ready. In case you are finding it difficult to read the price of the gift you got, google it. 

Recycling: This is actually eco (economics, stupid ) friendly . Pick up any of the gift you got at your kid’s b’day. Yes,  you can even use the same wrapper but at least buy a new gift tag. Caution : Always tag the gifts you got with “who gave them” so that you don’t end up giving the same back. 

Discount Sales: In India, twice a year, there are discount sales where leading stores offer discounts as high as Up to 70% , this is actually a good time to buy gifts. I know that your friend’s daughter’s b’day is two months away but then that Barbie store is offering discounts now, so buy the gift now. 

Disclaimer : This post doesn’t cover if it’s your Boss’s son’s b’day. Actually, those gifts are not mere gifts they are investments which may impact your appraisals. So be a little generous there, even if you have to apply for a small loan, do and invest in buying a gift which is not only costly but also perceived to be costly. It’ll go a long way.


PS: Do comment, share if you got some more gifting ideas, would be happy to post ( with credits).

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Just Like It.

Facebook – Launched in 2004, read by more than 500 million people in the world, is not even a book. Now compare it with the most published and sold book (scriptures excluded), “A Tale of two cities” by Charles Dickens , first published in 1859, managed to reach only 200 million copies.

Don’t worry, we’ll not discuss the real books here because I know what you want to read about.

My exposure to facebook is limited to my wife’s account, occasionally ( ok, little more than occasionally ), as I don’t have a facebook account . Yes, I still feel it’s fashionable to say “ I am not on facebook”.

I know it’s a wonderful tool, still I feel it’s one feature which brought all those 499 million people to facebook.

Thumb rule- Just Like It.

That’s the best button ever invented in the history of mankind . If you have ever been to school ( sorry, that was rude) , you know only 4-5 students participated in class, rest were waiting for Mark to invent "Like" so that they can also participate. Or, if you are that B-School type (No offence please) and attend meetings, you would know that only 1-2 participate in the meetings, rest largely restrict themselves to coffee n cookies while fiddling on their Blackberry.

"Like" also comes to your rescue when you are in a very important strategy seminar, and see that the girl you had a crush on , just posted a pic of her hubby and 2 year old kid – Just Like it. (Socially Responsible Tip – Never  Like your Boss’s status during that office meeting, it’s Likely that he’s also on facebook on his Blackberry and would come to know what you are upto ).

"Like" will also give the AVP in you, a mild satisfying feeling when the ex Batchmate of yours posts his status saying that “ Promoted to Senior Manager”. For ladies, it’s the best thing to do when they see a better looking friend has turned into a fat aunty looking type.

Beauty of the Like button is that you can Like any thing , I mean any thing –  I’m bored , Wonderful Weather, Going to watch Kites with family, Cleared Exam, Walking dog n husband. OMG, I'm pregnant.

One posted “Getting Married” , and there were 121 Likes, of course from all married ones inviting one and all to the misery. Liking “Breakup” is also fashionable these days. 

Now some over enthusiastic facebookers, even Like these status - "Slipped off stairs, sprain in the ankle . Had an argument with boss, got fired. Traffic Sucks. WTF, I’m pregnant. 

So the Thumb Rule is "Just Like It"

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Quality Time at Office Office

'Quality time' (QT) is an informal reference to time spent with loved ones (e.g., close family, friends) which is in some way important, special, productive or profitable. It is time that is set aside for paying full and undivided attention to the person/matter at hand. - Wikepedia

So if you noticed , there are two key things about quality time here :

• Spent with Loved ones

• Full and Undivided attention

The good part is that your Office / Boss can’t demand of your quality time unless you are in love with your Office, Boss or Both. I know free coffee, free internet, airconditioning, occasional Best Employee Certificate etc may cause love with your office, but your Hari Sadu will help in getting over it. Still if you are in love with your office, don’t worry, it will be cured – at least once a year - during your appraisals.

Some have a problem of falling in love with their Boss, this is little tricky, then you’ll have to remember the famous dialogue in Maine Pyaar Kiya , Corporate Edition – “Ek boss aur ek sub-ordinate kabhi dost nahin ho sakte”. In case this also doesn’t help, marry your boss – there won’t be any love left.

Other important part of this word quality time is undivided attention. Now to me , this undivided attention is the biggest myth, don’t believe, ask Rishi Vishwamitra. The moment you start concentrating on one task in office, nearing close to 60% of that undivided concentration – you’ll see a mail dropping in your In-Box from your boss saying - need that strategy paper by end of day today. Now the important thing which you were doing has gone to back burner , and you start thinking about this.

You head towards your boss’s cubicle, and see him animatedly talking over phone . “ ya… sure…I’ll get it…No No …won’t forget…7pm , color print…ya …ok…Bye” . So you think, it must be the Super Boss asking the strategy paper by 7 pm . No , it was his wife , asking for the color printouts of “7 wonders of the world” for his daughter’s school project.

You come back to your desk, and there’s one more email from your boss, now it’s a forward which describes – Malinga before and after .

Malinga - After the worldcup

Now you start thinking, to who all you should forward this, and the life goes on.

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Cricket is not a religion!

Let me begin with a disclaimer that my knowledge of religion is limited. My knowledge of cricket is even more limited as till sometimes back I thought Sreesanth is a dancer cum water boy, fine leg reminded me of Bipasha in Dhoom and Mandira Bedi was only popular for her role in Shanti.

Ok, on the day of the cricket world cup final, let me admit here, my interest in cricket is much more than my religion and it has nothing to do with Poonam Pandey.

One thing I still believe in, is - Cricket is not a religion.

• Did you ever see riots happening over cricket?
• Do you know of any book on cricket which is banned?
• Have you come across any cleric who said he’ll burn copy of “Sunny Days”?
• Did your mom ever say that you can watch cricket only after taking bath?
• Cricket unites but religion divides!
• You think, the talented Poonam Pandey would ever undress for a religious party?
• Today also, if a WC11 cricket match were to be hosted, Ram Lalla, Sunni Waqf Board and Nirmohi Akhara , all would offer their piece of land .
• Have you seen political parties going mad over cricket?
• Do you think this guy would have become God, had he followed religion instead of cricket?

And last , and the most, unlike religion , in Cricket there’s only one God. 

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Today is Monday, Run,Run,Run,Run !

This is my tribute to the very talented, 13 year old, Rebecca Black. If you haven't heard of her, you deserve to face her music. Go, google her song "Friday" , watch and then come back. Chances are that you'll never come back.

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark)
Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah-ah-ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

6am, waking up in the mornin
Gotta be fresh, gotta go gym
Feelin sleepy, go back to the bed
7am, tryin waking up again
Gotta have tea, pick up the Times
Gotta hit the loo with Bombay Times
Gotta start car and go to office

Kickin in the front seat
Honkin like mad
Honkin on and on , everbody’s rushin
Oh no, about to hit the bugger in santro
Honk more, abuse and move on

Reached office, yeah one with 2 effs
It’s Monday, Monday
Yeah , some call it  Mournday
Mournday, Mundane
Everyone looking backward to the weekend

*Flashback*
Cricket, Cricket ( Yeah)
Cricket, Cricket (Yeah)
Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun
Thinkin about the weekend

10:30, we’re in a meetin
Tea, Coffee and some cookies
We’re deep divin in the numbers
You know what it is
Wake me up when it’s over
I do this, you do this
Every office, we all do this

[Chorus]
It’s Monday, Monday
Gotta get down on Mournday
Everybody’s thinkin about the  weekend, weekend
Monday, Mundane

Meeting, Meetin ( Yeah)
Meetin, Meetin (Yeah)
Run, Run, Run, Run
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

[Bridge]
Yesterday was Sunday, Sunday
Today is Monday, Monday, Monday
We-we-we so bugged
We so bugged
We gonna have a meetin today

Tomorrow is Tuesday
And Wednesday comes after...wards
I  want this week to end

Meeting, Meetin ( Yeah)
Meetin, Meetin (Yeah)
Run, Run, Run, Run
Lookin’ forward to the weekend.

In case you, your boss or subordinate want to sing the song or record an album , feel free to copy. 

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