I am corrupt, You?

As you all know, I am a simple, God Loving, Wife Fearing, Middle Class Indian.  I must say,  after this Anna Phenomenon, and Media saying that it’s all because of the Great Indian Middle Class, I am more than proud to belong to this class. Other wise, after buying a 1 ½  BHK, carpet area of 480 sq ft, with borrowed money, in Mumbai suburbs, I had started thinking that I had moved up a notch.

The recent furor over corruption always made me wonder–When it comes to corruption, why we only talk about the public servants?  Are they the only ones  who could be corrupt , no one else?

Well, this made me do what any average middle class, internet accessing Indian would do, Google “What is corruption?”.

And these were the results –

Dishonest or fraudulent conduct by those in power, typically involving bribery . Lack of integrity or honesty (especially susceptibility to bribery); use of a position of trust for dishonest gain.

Then I also checked “What is bribe?” –

Money or any other valuable consideration given or promised with a view to persuade or induce the behavior of person.

Now that I knew what corruption and bribe were, I was clear that Team Anna is in the right direction -Average Indian Middle Class can’t be corrupt. 

I was about to switch-off and hit the bed when my daughter came in begging, Papa please explain the meaning of this -

Bura Jo Dekhan Main Chala, Bura Naa Milya Koye !

Jo Munn Khoja Apnaa, To Mujhse Bura Naa Koye !!

By the time I was done explaining, I knew something was wrong.

• When my son refused to eat green vegetables, didn’t I say -if you eat this for a week I’ll buy you a new BeyBlade.
• Didn’t I say “yes” when the computer service guy asked “Sir, got some new games, should I copy on your laptop”.
• Didn’t I visit www.songs.pk to download the latest Bodyguard songs composed by the very talented Himesh Reshammiya and Pritam.
• Didn’t I say “yes” when the interior designer said, “Sir, if you insist on full bill – will have to pay service tax”.
• Didn’t I pay 500 to a temple agent to get a quicker access to God when I visited the Shani temple.
• Parents doing kids' homework or school projects to ensure that kids get better grades.
• Agar tu mujhe tera program(source code) dega toh main tujhe us ladki ka contact details dunga! via TaiyouSun
• Don't we say "God, please get my job done, 101 ka prasad chadhaunga" via amancool5

Before you start criticising the "system" , just think - Is Hamam mein sab nange hain !. 

 PS: If you got some more examples of corruption in every day life, feel free to tweet or comment, will be happy to include ( with credits ).

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Don't feel like going to office?

As usual, today also Vencut got up at 6.30 am, rubbing his eyes he picked up daily bunch of news papers lying at the door and hit the sofa. Unlike every morning, when he use to start his day reading Economic Times while checking emails on his Blackberry, today he picked up The Bombay Times first. His blackberry was lying unattended, ignored and wondering why its master (rather slave) is ignoring her.

His wife noticed that Vencut is staring that Vidya Balan’s “the dirty picture” for last five minutes and the tea almost got cold.

“Venky, Are you Ok? Should I make you some more hot tea ? I never knew you liked Vidya that much”, asked his wife.

Vencut, still lost, said “Darling, I don’t feel like going to office, let’s go out for a long drive”.

“You don’t want to go to office OR You want to go for a long drive?” , asked wife. 

Vencut, already frustrated, shouted “what’s the difference?”  By now, his wife has already gone into the bathroom for a shower.

Vencut started thinking  about her question again “You don’t want to go to office OR you want to go for a long drive”. She was right, there was a huge difference, and actually – He just didn’t want to go to office.

I am sure Vencut is not the only one, it must have happened to you as well. There are days when you don’t want to go to office, for some, these days are almost five times a week. Never mind.

Well, when it comes to work, I believe there could be only two philosophies -

- Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

- Work is not supposed to give you happiness, if it was, why would you get paid.

Now if you claim you are in the first category, either you are a Pornstar or a liar. If you think, MS Dhoni also fits into the first category, just check with him once especially after that England tour. Emraan Hashmi - not again, kissing may be fun but acting is certainly not. 

If you are not in the first category, here are my two cents.

Just think of five things which gives you happiness, Now, see if any of these activities pay you as well. Think harder. OK, stop thinking - you won't find one. 


Well, in short – Lift your damn ass and go to office, no one will pay you to be happy. 

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Why Anna did but we couldn't !

Fasting, Me? Live to eat..

and drink..

Waiting for God to make his 100th 100 

Got meetings to attend and deadlines to meet.

Honey, come early and we'll go for a movie

Dude, gotta update my status, Bye.

Disclaimer: I don't have rights to any of these pics, all have been downloaded from internet. 

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Having fun with LinkedIn!

LinkedIn and Facebook are most popular social networking sites when it comes to connecting with your Current and your Ex – girlfriends or colleagues. I know some people do get mixed up but it’s preferred to connect with girlfriends / boyfriends on facebook and leave LinkedIn for colleagues or other professional contacts. ( In case you have a relationship in office, God Bless you)

Like all of you, even I used to think that LinkedIn is for serious kinds till I figured out some interesting ways to have fun ( and get noticed ). 

Recently, I noticed that there was a typo in my designation on LinkedIn and corrected that. Next day, my LinkedIn mailbox was flooded with these:

Hello Vikas, 

I saw you added XXXXXXXX to your profile, and wanted to drop you a note of congratulations!

Thanks to LinkedIn notifications, my contacts would have got a message that –

Vikas Goel has an updated current title or Vikas Goel is now XXXXX . Send Note

And knowing people, they would have clicked on “send note” to congratulate me. So, even if your job/designation doesn’t change – keep editing your profile and baffle your contacts.

Other fun feature is - Who’s viewed your profile? tab on the right side. 

Yes, now it's possible to find out who's stalking you. Click and you may be surprised to see that pretty marketing lady in office you met in the elevator, was checking out your profile.So once you know, who was checking you out, see if it works to your advantage. 

Have fun !

( If you know more of such ways to have fun on linkedin, drop me a note, will be glad to share here.)

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Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara , or ZNMD as it’s popularly called is not an ordinary movie – it’s almost Deepak Chopra, Robin Sharma with a dash of Katrina or as Jaaved Jaafri would call it –it’s different.

I went for this movie, not that I like topless Farhan Akhtar but because I got free tickets. As widely publicised , this movie is about seizing the moment, live life, over come your fears et al . But, there were also some subtle, some untold messages to be taken home.

Here you go.

• Never ever show your girlfriend the gift you got for your Mom or sister.
• Never flirt with your best friend’s girlfriend; he’ll not forgive you till he gets his next– Friendship na Rahegi Dobara.
• Your friend may still accept if you flirt with his girlfriend but never ever mess with his cell phone.
• Close your room’s door before you video chat with your fiancée, rather never video chat with your fiancée.
• It’s still fine if you don’t know swimming but learn dancing and driving.
• Always be kiss-ready and ready-to-kiss.
• If hit hard, even tomatoes hurt.
• Love & Sex are beyond any boundaries especially linguistic boundaries.
• If two of the three friends date one girl, and third one somehow couldn’t – he’ll one day call her a bitch.
• And last but not the least – Holidays are a must - Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara ! 

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