Bad Day at office!

Pretty common, right!. Actually a Bad Day at office is as inevitable as bad traffic on your way to office. Remember that guy in Ceat Ad said "Street is full of Idiots" . However, smart, savvy and cautious driver you are, there will always be some jerks on the road, who'll bug you and even put you to risk. Some are as grave as life threatening, some are just annoying by their honking. Similarly at office, a bad day may be just a mood-spoiler or career limiting.

Coming back to my theory that office is not meant to give you happiness, because they pay you. It's upon you that in the process of doing job and making money, you may have have some (or more, if you are smart enough ) moments of fun. So, if you didn't have a bad day, it's their lameness, your luck and smartness, else Idiots will leave no chance to make it bad.

My point is, problem is not a bad day, problem is if you let it affect you. My two cents on how to cope with it.

• First thing first, they pay you, right. Just have a look at that salary credit sms you got, feel better! But never look at someone else's salary credit, that's damaging and beyond the scope of this blog.
• Ignore, simply ignore. If you don't believe it's bad, it's not. Dhoni is still playing, and Akshay Kumar is still acting and people are still speaking ill about both of them. Ignore.
• Theory of relativity. Do you remember that quiz where they ask you "How to make this line __________________shorter without erasing it? Simple, draw a longer line _______________________________ next to it. Hope you got the message, your bad day is not bad, if you make someone else's even worse. I know it's mean, but who said Life in Office is fair.
• Sycophancy helps. I think Rumi once said, 'Sycophant a day, keeps a bad day away' Always have people around who are ready to say at the drop of hat "Boss, awesome stinker email, you just nailed the matter, good that you replied all and copied COO as well". Sycophants are real morale-booster and as effective as doping, and not even illegal. 
• Pretend & Act. Come on, there's a bit of Tusshar Kapoor & Abhishek Bachchan in all of us. Ever noticed their interviews, tweets "Tweeple, Damn busy with some good assignments, so won't be able to reply, XOXO". And, some believe this also. Just pretend that you are having awesome time. Act as if it was the other guy who lost the argument in the office meeting and feel sorry about him.
• Revenge. Little tricky but effective if done well. Start with, not working and just lazying around in office for some days. That's your revenge on the employer, you not working and they still paying you. Some do it through out their office life, but that's senior management forte, so avoid over doing. 

If any of these doesn't help, hit the Bar. There's nothing which a true spirit can't cure. Cheers.

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Lego is life!

Typical weekend, I was 'busy' on twitter while watching India-England cricket match and my son was assembling a space-ship with his newly acquired "Lego Rotor Rescue" set. Suddenly he got restless, as his shape, which has come out very well, was not matching the instruction booklet. And, I was summoned to advice. While, I spotted the slight error but that would have required dismantling the whole set, I was also unsure if that would actually correct it.

So, I said "the instruction booklet is printed wrongly" . "Papa, are you sure" . "Yes" . In next 2 minutes, his space-ship was ready, minutely different than the one shown. And he was roaming around the house showing his creation to every family member. 

Son's creation!

I think Lego carries many a life lessons. 

• Like Lego blocks, we can use the available 'resources/tools/blocks/skills' to make what WE want of our life.
• We can reboot, restart, reassemble as many times as we want.
• In spite of same resources, different people reach different outcomes.
• Process of building blocks is time-consuming, arduous, painful but if you keep the end result in mind, it's worth it.
• While having an instruction manual (parent / coach ) certainly helps, yet if you are determined, you can do without it. But, nothing like a 'parent' to start with.
• Have a partner to play with, and see how interesting the "building block" journey is.
• If you keep making the same thing out of your blocks, you may lose interest in Lego itself. Remember, Lego is just a set of finite blocks, but combinations you can make are nearly infinite - So is Life. 

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Smile!

Sad news all around, so thought should start my new year with writing about something sweet, simple yet rare - A Smile.

Smile must be one of those things which doesn't cost a dime except that easy movement of that 20 odd facial muscles, still we treat this as if we are asked to part with our money for someone else's charity. 

Few days back, walking on my way to the grocery store, saw a 20 something dude coming to me. Face looked familiar, and while I was trying to place that guy, he smiled at me. Before I could reciprocate, we lost the eye contact and he passed by. I kept thinking, suddenly it struck me that this is that IIT student who shared a cab with me when I wasn't getting one on a rainy day. Not even that he also pointed to my phone which I would have forgotten in the cab. And, I started feeling guilty that I didn't acknowledge him and his smile.

When it comes to smiling, the simple heart and complicated mind come into play and we have lots of questions before we make that BIG decision to smile :

• Do I know him / her?
• I know him but does he know me?
• Why should I smile first?
• If I smile first , will he reciprocate?
• Last time I smiled at him but he didn't?
• What if I smile and he decides to talk, I'll get late?

By the time our mind processes all these questions, chances are that the person passes by or we lose the eye contact. 

Question here is what makes it so difficult to part with a smile? Do we lose a fortune or something if we smile at a stranger!

Next time, when you come across even a slightly known face, don't let your mind come into play and just pass that smile. Be it that security guy, that maid, that junior colleague, neighbor's driver, whoever.  

Well it's important to recollect who that person is but smile can be passed immediately. 

When in doubt, Smile , and do it fast:)

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Corporate Lessons from Life of Pi

I watched Life of Pi yesterday. I know, a bit too late but this happens when you got a middle class mentality and wait for everyone else to watch the film and confirm that it’s worth spending 1500 bucks. By the way, I was hugely disappointed. No, the movie is awesome but I am disappointed with the reviews. Reviewers just focused on one aspect – a visual treat. I think this was much beyond that and had many a life lessons to be learnt.

Here are some.

Never ever blame your parents for naming you. No name is bad, not even ones containing words like Dick, Shit, Pee or whatever. Learn from "Piscine Molitor Patel”, if he can live with a name like that, so can you.

When they say “Religion is the Opium of Masses”, they mean if you overdo one religion. If religion interests you, don’t stick to one. Remember what Pi said “I am a catholic Hindu” and he offered namaz too. 

Don't fuss too much about your eating habits - being a vegetarian and all that. Hunger is a big leveler so better learn early.

All you corporate 9-5 types, this movie is actually written for you. Remember, the Bengal Tiger with a human name, “Richard Parker”. Perhaps Ang Lee wanted an average Corporate Office type to see and imagine his Boss in the Richard Parker – The Royal Bengal Tiger. So let’s call him Boss Parker.

Boss knows all:  To begin with, Pi was mistaken that Richard Parker will miss the escape life-boat when the storm hit the ship, never. Boss always knows when to escape a sinking ship.

Don't Mess with a hungry tiger or an angry Boss . You know the fate of hyena, and you don’t want to get killed, right. 

Try Taming: Pi realized that if he has to co-exist with the tiger in the deep sea, he needs to tame him. That’s how you deal with your difficult Boss. Try taming him, difficult yet possible. Pi hunted meat for him, just to feed him. Similarly, you also need to fetch credits and offer your Boss, on the platter.

Boss Parker & the Humble Pi

Never quit just because you got a bad boss, Never. Remember Pi, you can’t get more hostile environment than him. Yet, he didn't quit. He created a raft close to the life-boat yet far enough to survive from a Hungry Tiger. But, he never quit.

Never underestimate your Boss: Remember that floating island they reached, it took long for Pi to discover that the island turns carnivorous in the evening. But, Boss Parker realized much early and was already in the life-boat much before sunset. So, Boss knows it all.

Be nice to your Boss. We all know that when Boss is getting weak. Yet,  in his difficult times, be nice to him. Pi always knew this and never abandoned Parker when he was getting weak. He even saved Parker’s life by helping him come back on the boat. Be humane.

Don't fall in love. This was the worst mistake Pi did, he fell in love with Richard Parker. When the life-boat reached the coast, poor Pi thought that Parker would say him goodbye, may be thank him for feeding him for so many days. Yet, typical of any ungrateful Boss, Parker escaped to jungle, without even looking back. Pi cried, but I don't want you to cry. So never ever fall in love with your Boss.

Have a back-up story. Life is full of those Japanese insurance agents who just don't want to hear the truth. All they want is a believable story which is easy to be told. So, like Pi, don't pester too much telling the truth. Tell the palatable truth, or a while lie.

I hope this helped in getting more value out of the money you spent on Life of Pi. 

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Oh My God!

8am, I am rushing for office and I notice some shadow behind me.

Me: OMG! Who the hell is that?

He: You just chanted my name, You are right, it's "Oh my God".

Me: Look man, I am damn busy. Please. Who the hell are you?

He: I am God and have come to take you, haven't decided yet if it's heaven or hell though.

Me: Come On, You really think that you'll say "I am God" and I believe.

He: It doesn’t matter whether you believe in me or not, I believe in you.

Me: But, how do I know that you are God.

He: Try sending a DM @God and I’ll read it for you.

Me: OMG! You are really God. But, do you follow me, while I don’t?

God: Man, I follow all.

Me: Don’t you mind that you follow all but all don’t follow you.

God: My world is different from your twitter.

Me: But what brings you here?

God: 21st December, Mayans – you forgot?

Me: WTF! You really believe in Mayans! And, it’s not 21st December yet.

God: I know, thought should remind you.

Me: Hey, don’t even say that, I have too many things to do. How can you even think of that?


God: Well I am God, I can think anything. What all you have to do by the way?
Me: Well, I have a bucket list which I haven’t updated yet, but I have lots to do.

God: Ok, just tell me 3 things which you want to do so that I can see if you really need time.

Me: I mean it, I need time to do a lot.

God: Ok, just tell me your wish list and let me judge if you really need time.

Me: Well, here you go.

1. Need to take my kids and family for a vacation, spend some more time with them.

2. Meet and call my friends and relatives.

3. Well, the third is , let me think , can I have some more time please.

God: See, you are so preoccupied that you can't even spell out 3 wishes.

Me: I am sorry, never knew that I’ll get to meet you else would have noted them on my BB.

God: So, you say you want more time to do these things, right?

Me: Yes, I wanted to do these for long, but don’t get time.

God: Look dude, you are doing it all wrong. I don’t think I can give you any more time. You chose to attend an office meeting instead of attending your kids’ sports day. What prevents you from going on a vacation now? What do you mean by “spending quality time” ? Other day your son asked you to tell a story and you were busy retweeting jokes on twitter. You say you want to meet your friends and relatives while all you worry is about adding new followers on twitter. Why should i give you more time, to waste?

Me: Well, God, I am really sorry but can I have one more chance please?

God: But …..

Me: Please Please Please , I promise I’ll strike a balance.

God: Ok….

Me: Phew! Thank God! I mean Thank You God.

God: But, as I said I follow you and the moment I see that you deviate from your own priorities, I may …

Me: I promise you, I won’t.

God: Ok

Me: Hey, Listen, don’t you mind that you follow me but I don’t.

God: Dude, who cares about followers? I can be Justin Bieber but Justin can’t be me.

Me: OK, but can I be sure of that I have more time at hand now.

God: Yes, till tomorrow.

Me: But, I can’t do all I want to do in one day.

God: Ok, you live as if there’s no tomorrow. And, I’ll see that you have one.

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