Brick-bats n Bouquets via Twitter!

Warning : I may insult you while i write this , so think twice before going ahead . Also , just because you're featured here doesn't make you great - try earning it !

I follow around 100 odd people , and have chosen you all for a particular reason , prime purpose of remains entertainment while i am attending meetings .

What irritates me

Don't say just for the sake of saying , some times its better to post a blank tweet .

" I'm hungry" " have nothing interesting to say" - Go eat then , don't tweet

Its Twitter , not a chat room

"When r u reaching gurgaon" >"not possible today">"lets catch up at Noida">"8 o clock" - Why TF bother me and 100 others , go on yahoo chat , BB messenger or G Talk

Dear Mom , I ................

"Just had a 'light' lunch of fried bhindi, stuffed baingan, kofta & chana + missi roti" "- You really think , ur 450 followers want to know this unless you are SRK or Justin F*******

I don't have money for classified ads , and my hostel doesn't have a notice board

"Want a WiFi modem for rent/borrow. x_X Anyone interested" - Even if you get your modem from 1 , you have annoyed other 999 without any fault of theirs.

Hash Tag Jockeys

"#Steve #Jobs #apple #america #funny #ipad" - WTF

I like them , Be like them

@jhunjhunwala for everything esp being modest , jahanpanah tussi great ho

@spymaami don't ask me why i like her , u fu*****

@ashwinsanghi being a wordsmith , must be cousin of william wordsworth

@amancool5 for your serious tweets n even serious looks ( once a senior , always a senior)

@sunainak "I love hate storys", u make effort or its natural ?

@krishashok did you invent #hashtag?

@rameshsrivats Hats off !

Enough of praise , now get back tweeting please , i have a meeting to attend !

Tweet

Peter , Repeater and ReTweeter!

Santa planned name of his boy - Peter – But had twins so named them Peter n Repeater . Thank God he was not on twitter , else would have Tweeter and Retweeter .
Actually , ReTweeter is the fastest growing community in this world , and there are many types of ReTweeters .

My timeline has some of the most interesting types of ReTweeters* , Let me start calling names!

Only RTers: Retweet the moment it hit types : With eyes glued on their timelines , they simply RT anything and every thing.
Worship RTers: These are the ones who actually worship many of them they follow , so if their GOD has tweeted , has to be Retweeted , irrespective of the content! Sometimes if Sachin goes to the Loo and say’s going to the loo – they RT.
Add a bit RTers: Read the tweet , if interesting , start thinking what can be added , then add a word or two and there you go !
WTF RTers: I love this phrase and can be added to most of the tweet , so they RT and just add prefix WTF!
LOL RTers: Other phrase which can be prefixed to dumb or hilarious tweets , so prefix and hit RT.
Thanks RTers: if you have been RTed , you should thank. So this kind RT listing all the handles who have RTed them . Some of them actually post 7-8 tweets in asecond as they have to thak many. They add exclaimations ranging from Thanks to Luv , Hugs n Kisses for RT . Remember Bryan Adams : Just RTed to say …… I thank you!
Obligated RTers: Well if last time he / she RTed ur tweet , its your obligation to RT –so RT to return the favor.
Gang RTers: Well if the Tweet is from a member of the gang , it has to ReTweeted
Never RTers: SRK when would you start RTing

Btw , what ever category you are in , please feel free to RT me , I never mind.

*: List is not exhaustive , so feel free to challenge , add , comment .
@vikaspgoel

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Why the hell I tweet?

Am about to reach my 1000th tweet , that means must have wasted around 1,40,000 character's of twitter space- may be would have added to some carbon foot print also . No worries , shall plant some trees (virtually on twitter).

I think twitter is gross waste of time , and is seriously affecting my career , personal and professional life - must tell that was about to fall off the treadmill running at a speed of 10km/hr because tried tweeting while running .

Well that's not the only pitfall of being on twitter as there is always a hospital near by to fix you up , should you fall of the treadmill . Real issue is curiosity ? There is nothing more intriguing in life than twitter .

Even after having tweeted 1000 tweets and following 100 people , some questions remain un answered :

- How to resist temptation of tweeting amidst an important meeting , driving , jogging or ****ing etc etc?

- Why some tweets carry only #hashtags and twitter handles and nothing else?

- WTF does FTW means ?

- @jhunjhunwala is so rude still people standup when he "arrives"?

- What the hell is "you follow me , i'll follow you" concept?

- How come @rameshsrivats is so funny yet many other suck?

- Who is @spymaami?

- Once on twitter , how to think beyond 140 characters in daily life?

- How come @sidin 's mediocre tweet is retweeted by 100 people and no one looks at most wittiest of my tweets?

- What's the logic of @toptweets picking tweets , how come my tweet has never been re tweeted?

- Why do some people just keep retweeting left right n centre?

- How come two genuine people @amancool5 and @ashwinsanghi and some 50 other still following me and the rest of the ******** are going crazy about Bieber , Jieber or what ever that ******** is ?

- finally , after all this , WHY THE HELL I @vikaspgoel TWEET?

Tweet

Twitter is not easy , So is Life!

Though I created my twitter account more than a year back but got active on twitter only recently ( @vikaspgoel ). The whole idea of being able to say some thing meaningful in < 140 characters , excites me . Now after more than 500 tweets , have learnt that Twitter is not easy , so is life !

Life also doesn't give you long to prove your self , here its 140 characters that's it.

You work hard to get followers on twitter , so in life ! - After 500 tweets , all i have is a set of 36 followers

You think you are at wittiest best , and never get quoted ( Read RT )

You say smart things in forums / meetings , still don't get mentioned.

You ask questions to leaders , managers but don't get answers.

You get jealous of peers for having more than you inspite of your calibre - how come his followers are more than yours

People take credit of others' work - Read RT without mention

You quietly admire people still don't acknowledge - checking timelines but yet not follow

You admire people just because others' admire - tend to follow who got more follwers

You are serious and people ridicule you - replying with a smiley

You never know actually how many like you - may be 3600 followers check my timeline but not follow me :)

Twitter is not easy , So is Life!Tweet

WHAT TEACHERS MAKE !

WHAT TEACHERS MAKE

A poem by: Taylor Mali

The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued: "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"

He reminded the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about teachers: "Those who can...do. Those who can't ... teach."

To corroborate, he said to another guest: "You're a teacher, Susan," he said. "Be honest. What do you make?"

Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness, replied, "You want to know what I make?"

I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor and an A- feel like a slap in the face if the
student did not do his or her very best."

"I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence."

"I can make parents tremble in fear when I call home"

"You want to know what I make?"

"I make kids wonder."

"I make them question."

"I make them criticize."

"I make them apologize and mean it."

"I make them write."

"I make them read, read, read."

"I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, and definitely beautiful over and over and over again, until they will never misspell either one
of those words again."

"I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in English."

"I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart...and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make, you pay them no attention!"

"You want to know what I make?"

"I make a difference."

"And you? What do you make?"Tweet